The title may cause you to question "what is she talking about?" Well I'm really excited about this blog post and what is on my heart. Just a piece of my story is I have always struggled with exercise and not having any balance in it. I would exercise to "eat" for most of my life or when I would eat some type of junk food, I would have to make time in my schedule to run. Even if that meant in my house at midnight or in place for an hour. YES call me neurotic! But understand me here: THIS WAS MY WAY OF LIVING.....sad I know. It kills me that my life revolved around exercise and food for way too long of my life. Some of you cannot even fathom this lifestyle or some of you are saying WHITNEY I GET YOU!!!!!! And if you are struggling in this area know there is help!!!
With a little history behind me, you now can see where I'm coming from. I have had much freedom and recovery for nearly 3 years now. Such a wonderful feeling. But being free or in recovery doesn't mean its been an easy journey for me. It has been easier to deal with because I have accountability, encouragement, and love that is surrounded me.
In 2013 I had two running injuries which all link back weakened bones from my eating disorder and over exercising in the past. I have had a few months off and on where exercise was very limited for me. It sucked if I was going to be honest. I missed running and getting that runners high. But as I've started 2014 off its been very different. I am exercising more than I was able to last year due to the injuries. It feels good to be back on the roads with some of my running friends and building new relationships. If your a runner there is NOTHING like a running friend. (that was just a random thought)
As I was running with Leah tonight and Monica a mile ahead of us :) we were discussing life. And something that came out of my mouth shocked me even. "I'm actually enjoying working out and being a slow runner and not pushing myself like I always had." It was like WHO AM I??? I'm obsessed with running. I get really anxious when I go days without exercise. But God had shifted my priorities. It felt GOOD. Realizing I'm doing this for good health and community not to be a certain size or weight. YES of course I'm a woman and think about those impulsive thoughts. Its not as obsessive as it used to be.
But God has been teaching me through a hard time of "rest" to be okay with my athletic abilities and what I can do. I may not be as fast or in the shape I used to be in and that's OKAY!!
So if you are struggling in any area: being lazy and not wanting to work out, working out too much, or just not consistent with it. THERE IS HOPE for you!! Allow the Lord to touch you in the areas that you struggle in. Continuously give it to him. This can be DAILY too. So don't get discouraged!!
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Thursday, January 9, 2014
Decluttering Your Life
Today God spoke to me in a real way that applies to my daily life. Since Arkansas has been having wintery weather recently (ice not snow :( ) I didn't have to go in to work today. Which for me I spent my day cleaning and reorganizing my bathroom. As I was going through all my "junk" and getting rid of clutter. It felt great to have an organized bathroom and I know where everything is now.
As I was getting rid of all this clutter God began to speak to me about my own personal life and how I need to declutter things OUT. We have so many distractions in today's society: cell phones, texting, social media, music, Internet, TV, laziness, over committing, being "too" busy, family issues, drama with friends, ADD/ADHD behaviors, and many more things in our lives can become distracting.
I'm beyond guilty of each of those things from above. I'm sure you can relate to at least one or more of these things can keep your mind cluttered. I struggle with ADD/ADHD all the time, this causes me to start one thing and move to another things. As I was working today in my bathroom I counted at least 4 times of getting distracted. But once I was focused on what I was doing God showed me how cluttered my own person life was. It kinda hurt the heart a little.
Having this revelation today, I have been encouraged to make an effort each day to evaluate and assess the things that are cluttering my life and hindering my relationship with God. Its important for me to get rid of all the things that keep me from fully seeking the Lord. Take a moment today and evaluate your own personal life and ask God what it is that needs to be taken from your life.
Hebrews 12:1-2
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2) fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Be encouraged and take away all the sin and habits that clutter our lives from fully seeking the Lord!
As I was getting rid of all this clutter God began to speak to me about my own personal life and how I need to declutter things OUT. We have so many distractions in today's society: cell phones, texting, social media, music, Internet, TV, laziness, over committing, being "too" busy, family issues, drama with friends, ADD/ADHD behaviors, and many more things in our lives can become distracting.
I'm beyond guilty of each of those things from above. I'm sure you can relate to at least one or more of these things can keep your mind cluttered. I struggle with ADD/ADHD all the time, this causes me to start one thing and move to another things. As I was working today in my bathroom I counted at least 4 times of getting distracted. But once I was focused on what I was doing God showed me how cluttered my own person life was. It kinda hurt the heart a little.
Having this revelation today, I have been encouraged to make an effort each day to evaluate and assess the things that are cluttering my life and hindering my relationship with God. Its important for me to get rid of all the things that keep me from fully seeking the Lord. Take a moment today and evaluate your own personal life and ask God what it is that needs to be taken from your life.
Hebrews 12:1-2
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2) fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Be encouraged and take away all the sin and habits that clutter our lives from fully seeking the Lord!
Sunday, January 5, 2014
The "UNKNOWN" season
Starting off 2014 is here and I'm ready for the ride! This year is full of possibilities for me. I'll be honest I've been very anxious about this year and so many unknowns. I quit my job two days before January 1st. I will finish this job up on Friday. So many emotions flood with leaving this precious family. I have been able to pour into a precious 8 year old and teach her how to read and write. My job is currently 50 miles from where I live and financially it just was very hard and challenging for me. I was there a lot of my time or I was at school in the evenings. I had no life. My relationships went down hill. So many things happened over the past 5 months.
As blessed as I have been at this job and how much I love what I do, its time for me to really approach the UNKNOWN. I'm going to be keeping my cousin's kids Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday and my nephew on Tuesday and Thursday's. God has really blessed me to have some free time and some income over the next coming months. Its cool to see how after one door closes the other opens.
But here is where my anxiety comes in: THE UNKNOWN. Hear me out I'M A CONTROL FREAK!!!! I FINALLY graduate from Central Baptist College in May. I have a job through the first of June and then the rest is unknown...This freaks me out just a bit. I know the word of God says:
Philippians 4:6-7
Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your heart and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
I have been quoting "Whitney stop worrying and trust God" more than you can imagine each day. I am learning to fully rely on him because I have NO clue what my next step is. I have goals and ideas of what's next but I am having to pray and seek guidance over it because are these thoughts just my own selfish desires or are they also God's desires? I'm just having to pray, seeking God, and seeking guidance from others. Its hard to be in the unknown. I want to control every aspect of my life.
I will keep you guys updated on the future and my journey of trusting God. Because this is a journey of life. If you are in the same situation I'm right there with you. I know all the emotions going on but partner with me in prayer and praying for God's plans over our own. Seek his face over all the other things of this world.
Lets fight this anxiety with the word of God which is our sword!
Along for the ride in this season. Chin up! Learning to surrender and trust God.
As blessed as I have been at this job and how much I love what I do, its time for me to really approach the UNKNOWN. I'm going to be keeping my cousin's kids Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday and my nephew on Tuesday and Thursday's. God has really blessed me to have some free time and some income over the next coming months. Its cool to see how after one door closes the other opens.
But here is where my anxiety comes in: THE UNKNOWN. Hear me out I'M A CONTROL FREAK!!!! I FINALLY graduate from Central Baptist College in May. I have a job through the first of June and then the rest is unknown...This freaks me out just a bit. I know the word of God says:
Philippians 4:6-7
Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your heart and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
I have been quoting "Whitney stop worrying and trust God" more than you can imagine each day. I am learning to fully rely on him because I have NO clue what my next step is. I have goals and ideas of what's next but I am having to pray and seek guidance over it because are these thoughts just my own selfish desires or are they also God's desires? I'm just having to pray, seeking God, and seeking guidance from others. Its hard to be in the unknown. I want to control every aspect of my life.
I will keep you guys updated on the future and my journey of trusting God. Because this is a journey of life. If you are in the same situation I'm right there with you. I know all the emotions going on but partner with me in prayer and praying for God's plans over our own. Seek his face over all the other things of this world.
Lets fight this anxiety with the word of God which is our sword!
Along for the ride in this season. Chin up! Learning to surrender and trust God.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
2013 Gone and Embracing 2014!
As I sit down this morning with a cup of Joe, I ponder on this past year and the year coming. Each year has its ups and downs. Overall it was a very blessed year. I felt like each thing I have endured whether it was a challenge or something great. I learned something from it!
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
1. For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.
2. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and time to harvest.
3. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.
5. A time to scatter stone and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
6. A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7. A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
8. A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace.
Looking back on 2013 and I've been in all seasons of this. The year started off great. I was excited to get the year going. It had now been 2 years since I graduated from Mercy in April. That was a huge victory for me to look back on two years of freedom. Yes had days of struggling but mostly going super strong. As each year passes I am more thankful for www.mercyministries.org (mercy) and what I took from my time there. God truly set me up to have a life of freedom and actually living. The relationships I continue to grow in that I met during my time at Mercy has been a blessing. These women get my struggles and share in my small victories and large victories. We walk through life together even being thousands of miles a part from each other. I am blessed to walk life with each of these women. forever sisters!
I began to date a guy and was soon to be engaged too. Thought I was in love. But that was shattered quickly after being engaged. This was very hard but the best decision I could made. God truly protected me from more hurt. What it boiled down too, I wanted to settle down get married and have children. Wrong motives. So I didn't look at the whole person, I just jumped into something. He is not a horrible person at all. We just are not meant to be together. I grew to totally depend on Christ during this season after the break up. I had a new sense of trusting God and leaning on him. I only need Him to be satisfied in life.
Going through the break up I found who my friends truly were. Being in this specific relationship I isolated from my friends. This is something that I do not recommend to anyone. Stay friends with the people who care and love you the most. The few who stood by my side have been the biggest blessings and the best of friends. I would not change this for anything. I feel as if these relationships have just grown so much closer in the months after. Find those couple of friends who will stand with you through ALL things. They are godly friendships who encourage you in your darkest times.
I FINALLY quit my job of 2.5 years at Arkansas Counseling. This was the best decision I made. God allowed me to make lasting friendships in the years and we still continue to meet up. But moving on from a comfortable job was a great decision. I do miss some of my clients there but I have been blessed to keep in touch with a few of these families! God grew me in this position to only prepare me for my future and the call he has on my life. If you're not happy in the season your in at your job know it is God preparing you for your next step in life! Don't grow weary. He has a plan for you.
The hardest things is DEATH. You hear of people passing all the time. You may hurt for the family but until you experience it so close to home you don't understand. I lost my grandma May 25, 2013. I was there for some of her last hours. It was hard to watch her struggle to breath but holding her hand telling her its okay to go see Jesus was such a precious time for me. I am forever grateful my cousin called me to go see her that evening. I talked that evening about all the memories we had. She taught me to read and succeed in school. She was always proud of her grandchildren. What a beautiful woman she was.
After my grandma left us a few short months later I lost a dear friend from Mercy. We spent 6 months living together and struggling together. We both had struggles with an eating disorder. Christen passed in October this year. My heart was so broken to hear of her death. The enemy came in and she was taken in bondage from her eating disorder. She was a beautiful woman who would do anything for others. She encouraged me on her hardest days. She may have been taken by an eating disorder but she leaves a legacy to us who loved her to stay strong and free from our eating disorders. I love her dearly and has brought me to a new place to encourage others who struggle with the same struggles. Such a beautiful woman who was so radiant!!! God has her in his arms and shes no longer in pain!!!!
I share all my downs here but they are full of life lessons. I learned a lot this year! I am blessed from going through some dark times this year. I saw God was there and my only source of strength. As you and I start this year of 2014 let go into as there is a season of everything. We will have our ups and downs but lets cling to Jesus and EMBRACE this year!!!!!
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
1. For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.
2. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and time to harvest.
3. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.
5. A time to scatter stone and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
6. A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7. A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
8. A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace.
Looking back on 2013 and I've been in all seasons of this. The year started off great. I was excited to get the year going. It had now been 2 years since I graduated from Mercy in April. That was a huge victory for me to look back on two years of freedom. Yes had days of struggling but mostly going super strong. As each year passes I am more thankful for www.mercyministries.org (mercy) and what I took from my time there. God truly set me up to have a life of freedom and actually living. The relationships I continue to grow in that I met during my time at Mercy has been a blessing. These women get my struggles and share in my small victories and large victories. We walk through life together even being thousands of miles a part from each other. I am blessed to walk life with each of these women. forever sisters!
I began to date a guy and was soon to be engaged too. Thought I was in love. But that was shattered quickly after being engaged. This was very hard but the best decision I could made. God truly protected me from more hurt. What it boiled down too, I wanted to settle down get married and have children. Wrong motives. So I didn't look at the whole person, I just jumped into something. He is not a horrible person at all. We just are not meant to be together. I grew to totally depend on Christ during this season after the break up. I had a new sense of trusting God and leaning on him. I only need Him to be satisfied in life.
Going through the break up I found who my friends truly were. Being in this specific relationship I isolated from my friends. This is something that I do not recommend to anyone. Stay friends with the people who care and love you the most. The few who stood by my side have been the biggest blessings and the best of friends. I would not change this for anything. I feel as if these relationships have just grown so much closer in the months after. Find those couple of friends who will stand with you through ALL things. They are godly friendships who encourage you in your darkest times.
I FINALLY quit my job of 2.5 years at Arkansas Counseling. This was the best decision I made. God allowed me to make lasting friendships in the years and we still continue to meet up. But moving on from a comfortable job was a great decision. I do miss some of my clients there but I have been blessed to keep in touch with a few of these families! God grew me in this position to only prepare me for my future and the call he has on my life. If you're not happy in the season your in at your job know it is God preparing you for your next step in life! Don't grow weary. He has a plan for you.
The hardest things is DEATH. You hear of people passing all the time. You may hurt for the family but until you experience it so close to home you don't understand. I lost my grandma May 25, 2013. I was there for some of her last hours. It was hard to watch her struggle to breath but holding her hand telling her its okay to go see Jesus was such a precious time for me. I am forever grateful my cousin called me to go see her that evening. I talked that evening about all the memories we had. She taught me to read and succeed in school. She was always proud of her grandchildren. What a beautiful woman she was.
After my grandma left us a few short months later I lost a dear friend from Mercy. We spent 6 months living together and struggling together. We both had struggles with an eating disorder. Christen passed in October this year. My heart was so broken to hear of her death. The enemy came in and she was taken in bondage from her eating disorder. She was a beautiful woman who would do anything for others. She encouraged me on her hardest days. She may have been taken by an eating disorder but she leaves a legacy to us who loved her to stay strong and free from our eating disorders. I love her dearly and has brought me to a new place to encourage others who struggle with the same struggles. Such a beautiful woman who was so radiant!!! God has her in his arms and shes no longer in pain!!!!
I share all my downs here but they are full of life lessons. I learned a lot this year! I am blessed from going through some dark times this year. I saw God was there and my only source of strength. As you and I start this year of 2014 let go into as there is a season of everything. We will have our ups and downs but lets cling to Jesus and EMBRACE this year!!!!!
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