Are you swimming through a storm?

When you think of the storm your in what are the first thoughts? Why God? Why me? I can't make it through this? I need a miracle. I don't understand this? I hate my life? I'm so angry at (you fill in the blank). I could continue on with the negative thoughts but lets not dwell on that specifically. I've been there, I've lived there, I've dwelled in all those questions. I wonder how I could keep my head above water.

My year felt like many of times. I have had to live with consequences of a 12 year battle of bulemia and anorexia. I have had freedom over this addiction for nearly three years but still had many consequences. I remember going to my surgeon last August and hearing all that I needed done. My bones in my mouth had deteroirated so badly where I needed to have bone added, teeth pulled, and implants. Then my body rejected some of these surgeries. I grew weary! I had everything removed for a few months to go back into surgery just two weeks ago. Within a week my body was rejecting once again. But friends I had a choice to make this time. Will I choose to cling to God's word or continue to ask the qustions from above. YES I WAS FRUSTRATED!! But as God says you can be angry but don't sin in your anger!

Like I said above I had to make a choice. Would I choose God's word or would I continue living in my pit. I chose to fully give it up and put it in Gods hand and find strength in God. It was not easy but worth it in the end. The joy I found, the encouragement from the word and friends, strength that I never knew I had, and HOPE that only comes from Jesus.

Its not been fun and not proud to say that I've had 9 surgeries in one year on my mouth. What I have learned and how I've grown in the Lord is the best part about it. I am thankful for this season. I had to "SLOW DOWN" my fast paced life and focus on what is important and get my priorities right. Learning that the Lord provides in ALL things is huge and he showed up more than I ever could have imagined. Yes all of the mouth issues were from past issues but learning about the Grace of God and how much he loves me and REDEEMS me from it made it all worth it.

So my question for you is what storm are you swimming through with your head barely above water??

You can find hope and strength in Jesus. It too shall pass but it may be months just as mine was. Don't lose your faith. The hope of Jesus lives right in you.

"Where the Spirit of the Lord lives, there is FREEDOM"

We all can live in this freedom. It just takes some of us (ME) longer than others to find it because we have to die to self and give control up to Jesus!!!!