Leaving a Legacy

O Lord, If you heal me,

I will be truly healed;

If you save me,

I will be truly saved.

My praises are for you ALONE!

My sweet friend has gone to be with the Lord a little over a week ago. I had many emotions and thoughts to hearing this news. But the one thing God continued to show me in my prayer time was: "Whitney live out the Legacy she always wanted for women and that is to bring freedom to others."

Background:
Christen and I met October 13, 2010 in Lincoln, California at Mercy Ministries. The first thing I remember of her was her angelic eyes and sweet spirit. She had just gotten to Mercy also so we both had a lot of the same emotions going on. We also had some of the same struggles. Christen LOVED God and others. We spent six months together. Day in and day out together doing life together. We had MANY laughs and MANY tears together. Even on Christen's rough days she could put a smile on your face or make you laugh. Her focus was always on others! Some favorite memories together were: going to the mall on Fridays, walking to the gym together, sitting in the exercise room sharing secrets, praying together, encouraging each other, snack times (because we were on mandatory snacks), backyard walks, and much more.

I was able to stay in touch with Christen over the past two and a half years. She had many ups and downs over the years but always kept her focus on God and being healed. Christen never lost hope on beating her battle of anorexia and bulimia, she worked HARD. Harder than most people. Her heart was to be a dietitian and help women overcome eating disorders. She had a heart of gold. If you had the opportunity to spend just a short time with Christen, you would know how much of a sweet encourager she was. She wanted everyone to be okay and to overcome. I loved the many times we had those deep heart to hearts about how she would one day help other people conquer the battle of an eating disorder. Sadly, this dream did not come to pass in her life here on earth. But here's the encouragement for my friends and acquaintances who are reading this blog. She is now healed and in heaven and no longer struggling. And if you are a survivor of an eating disorder or struggling today we can be encouraged by Christen's fight because she fought the good fight.

As God gave me the words "live out the Legacy she always wanted for women and that was to bring freedom to others" my whole perspective changed about where I was in life. It gave me a new drive to help others with eating disorders, addictions, and overcoming other issues. I want to fight harder for others because of my sweet friend Christen. Christen would only want others to overcome and be happy with themselves. So lets rise up and be that legacy for her. Allow the Lord to give you the strength for each day. She wants you to live a life of abundance.

I had the opportunity this past week actually exactly one week after Christen passed to speak at Mercy Ministries. I had many emotions going to the place that saved my life and brought healing to me but the feeling of  emptiness of Christen no longer being here because the enemy kept her in bondage. So yes I shared my testimony but more importantly I spoke the truth of how the enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy and to be alert of that but to hang onto the promise that I have come that you may have life, and have it to the full (in abundance). I wanted them to be encouraged to continue the fight after they leave Mercy. I know Christen would want me to encourage anyone who has any type of struggle to fight until the end. And that the only hope comes from Jesus.

KEEP FIGHTING FRIENDS!!!

What do you see in the mirror?

When you look in the mirror what are your first words about yourself? Do you look at yourself and say WOW, I look good. I'm beautiful?? OKAY who am I kidding here??? I'm a woman here :) 

Sometimes those thoughts would be: I'm so fat. This makes me look fat and old. I'm too hippy. I have a big butt. My chest is too flat. My arms are flabby. I don't look good. I'm so disgusted with myself. I have a double chin. My thighs touch each other. I'm not tone enough. So the list could go on.

Have you ever found yourself saying the same sayings over and over? I know for years I have. It started at an extremely young age. I can remember by 10 years old pinching the "fat" on my stomach, arms, and legs. I was so consumed. At the time I didn't realize it was the enemy getting in my life and finding my weaknesses against me. I was blinded for many years. I hit a point where I hated my body and even my looks. 

Most of my preteen-my mid twenties I had many issues where I took it to the extremes. I starved myself to bingeing and purging to over exercising, and from diet pills to laxative abuse. This was my life for 14 years. Can you imagine this being your daily life? And it maybe your life right now. You may feel so hopeless and see noway out of this pain. Well I want you to know I'm here to help you through this battle. I want to walk this journey with women. 

I didn't start overcoming my addiction related to eating disorders/exercise disorder until I hit rock bottom. I wanted help because I knew my outcome would soon be death. At 24 years old knowing the survival rate was ticking scared me a little. My family caring so much about me to tell me, how scared they were for my life was a wake up call. The people who love you the most and I couldn't leave them because of an addiction. God had bigger plans for me. 

God opened a door for me to attend a free christian program called Mercy Ministries (www.mercyministries.org) and this is where God got a hold of me and changed my life forever. No it hasn't been an easy journey just because I accepted Jesus as my Savior. But its what has helped me through my battle of anorexia and exercise addiction (these were my two biggest disorders but dealt with all the different types of eating disorders). I now had a renewed hope. Mercy helped me so much more than any other treatment in the past, and I believe it did because they put Jesus first and I had to deal with past abuse, hurt, rejection, anxiety, depression, anger, and much more. The deep rooted issues. Have you thought about the past and the deep things that hurt you the most? Those things could be the cause to your struggle. 

So I share some deep emotions of my past eating disorder I dealt with for TOO LONG! Here is when you know you have overcome and had true freedom:

Yesterday, I had my "yearly" exam (fun times right? :) ). The first thing my doctor said was you have finally put some weight back on. Okay you've read my past and some of you reading my blog know me very well and know my deep struggles. You would think, when I hear  weight gain means "fat or ugly." But this time I had a peace about the comment for the first time in my 27 years of life. CRAZY huh? I knew then the freedom God has given me. I knew that gaining weight didn't mean fat or ugly or any other lie I would usually believe. I knew the redemption of Jesus Christ in that moment. I felt like I could conquer the world at that moment. I was like BAM look at that satan. So what that I gained 10 pounds in the past year. I needed to gain that weight. For the first time in my life I have maintained and kept around the same weight for over 6 months. Take that! 

The reason I shared that story is because I realized for the first time in my life, I am fully confident in who God created me to be as a woman. I am very active: I run 4-5 days a week, I am on a Gluten Free diet,  but I do allow a few sweets in :) all a balance! 

Ladies if you are struggling in any area of food, weight, and exercise I am here to say I GET YOU! If you want to talk, meet up for coffee, text. I am here to walk this journey with you. I am praying for you even if I don't know your name.

My email:

whitneyrwest@yahoo.com

Challenge for this week: Take a step and be bold about your struggles. Whether thats a close friend, a spouse, or me. 

The more you expose your struggles the more free you become. And the enemy no longer has you in a bondage of having a "secret"

I'm rooting you on precious ladies!!