A Life Worth Living

"Our task is not to fix the blame for the past, but to fix the course for the future."
--J.F.K 

"When I am anxious it is because I am living in the future. When I am depressed it is because I'm living in the past."
--Unknown

The last couple weeks I have been thinking about my life. The good, the bad, the ugly. You name it, I probably have thought about it. This doesn't have to be a negative connotation of looking at my life as a whole. The past, the future, the now is a constant on my mind. It definitely could get ugly if I was to stay stuck in my past or my future for too long. Because as the quote says the future brings anxiety and the past keeps you depressed. This is such a true statement.

Most of us could say we have a messy past. Whether it was our own poor decision making skills or it was inflicted on you by someone else. We all have HURT. We all have PAIN. We all have a PAST. But something cool was proposed to me in counseling, that I think each of us can meditate and think on. Take it for what its worth :)

As I said we focus on our past A LOT!! I am guilty of this. DAILY!! I had been sharing my anxieties about the future and what's happening. I shared all my "negative" associations to why I am anxious about the next season I am entering. But what was brought to my attention was incredible: "The woman sitting in front of me said Whitney, you hold the universe with God." "You choose what your future and how life will look." I thought wow....A New Beginning....A New Season...A New Start....A New Me.

It was a defining moment for me. For the first time in years or my entire life I felt that I had "control" over my life and thoughts. I know God is our guide and the one who ultimately controls our lives. But we also have choices to make in our life to have a better life or to remain stuck in life. I haven't fully allowed God to take control of my life but what has controlled me is this world. The DARK world of issues. It has ultimately controlled me. For too LONG!!

Realizing that I have control of what my life will be shaped and formed into was life changing. It was a pivotal moment for me. Whitney was in control. And slowly allowing the Lord to help steer the boat too.  The ED, the exercise, the OCD thoughts, the enemy, the depression, the anxieties are not the things that have to control me or my future. These things have controlled me for too long.

Hearing for the first time that I am the one (with God) who determines how I act and react to the future. I don't have to be controlled by the past or others. So from today on, I take control and make today the best that I am able to make.

Learning to do life differently is a challenge but worth the challenge put before me. Go out, be confident, and know you can have "A Life Worth Living.