Body Shaming

Yesterday, I come in from a trip (a long one, full of reassignments). I rest, go out and run errands, and come home to shower.

A shower is a must after being on a dirty airplane all day!!! As I was getting in the shower, I stood in front of the mirror picking at every ounce of "fat" that I felt that I had. I realized that every time I walk into a bathroom, a gym, or a store, I stare in the mirror at my body. I have the same emotions and feelings towards it: disgusting, fat, lose a little weight here or there, unworthy, big butt, ugly, not skinny enough.

As all of these emotions were going through my head, I stopped, I pondered. I realized I was body shaming MYSELF! Its not other people speaking these negative things to me, its me. I'm my worst enemy. We are our worst critics, even when we don't realize it at the moment.

Body shaming was coming from myself and my own thoughts, I realized I'm the one who can change these thought patterns. I climbed in bed utterly exhausted from my trip, but found God whose been waiting on me to submit this over to him. He is so patient and willing to wait until I'm ready.

What's cool about God is that he is gentle and willing to give you direction in how to get your mind whole and strong again. He wasn't shaming me for how I felt. He was accepting in how my thought processes were going. I felt a peace over my mind that hasn't been there in a while. He reminded me that in the worlds eye's I'm not perfect but in His eyes I am perfect.

I didn't realize for so long I was body shaming myself. I believed since I had been in recovery for quiet sometime that I was healthy, because my weight has been healthy. Reality body shaming is putting yourself down. We all can sit here and say we have done this at one point or another in our lives. Especially us women :).

We can change these behaviors by making small changes each day. Heck no, it won't be an overnight process. I wish! We all wish! But each day instead of focusing on what we hate the most about our bodies we can find one positive thing about our body or ourselves. We can learn to love ourselves. I don't have the answers but I do know it is possible to recover from body shaming.

Lets take each day as it come and slowly we will be able to accept ourselves!

Mother Teresa Struggled Too

Lately I have had a heavy heart to bring light to the topic of depression. Even if it encourages just one person, its worth my time to sit here and type. I also think that its time for people to stand up and help take the stigma away from the term "depression." 

Soon after I posted last week on depression, I ran across an article that shared that Mother Teresa struggled with depression. I was shocked, but I was also reminded that depression doesn't discriminate gender, sexuality, christian, non christian, good people, bad people, cultures. It can plague anyone! 

Here is a quote from Mother Teresa:

"Lord, my God, who am I that You should forsake me? The child of your love -- and now become as the most hated one -- the one You have thrown away as unwanted -- unloved. I call, I cling, I want -- and there is no One to answer -- no One on Whom I can cling -- no, No One. Alone . . . I am told God loves me -- and yet the reality of darkness & coldness & emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul."

She wrote this in the 1950s. From a woman who committed her time to helping the poor, sick, and hurting. She felt alone, abandoned, hurt, left in the dark, and empty. Many of us today can relate to her emotions and feelings. We've all been here and felt no hope! Whether its a chemical imbalance, environmental, or circumstantial, we've been in the pit. 

But...yes...BUT....look at Mother Teresa, she overcame. She didn't allow the enemy or the world to take her down. There is hope for us all. There is healing for us. She made peace within herself and God to overcome this. I'm sure she still had many days of darkness but chose joy and to focus on others. 

I believe when we take the focus off our situation and struggles to focus on others, things begin to fall into place. We may still have days where we feel down and out because I know I sure do! Its we are HUMAN not God nor perfect. But take those days as they come and try to do the next best thing for you. Nothing is an overnight change, it takes time and refocus on the things that need to be focused on. 

Allow Mother Teresa's struggle in life to become an encouragement to you and me. She fought hard and focused on others to be who she was. Isn't it wonderful to see such a strong, brave woman show her hurting side, so people like you and me could find hope and encouragement! 

Be brave today friend! 

Stop the Stigma

So....Lets talk about a topic that no one wants to talk openly about. There are many reason people avoid the topic of "Depression." 

1) The stigma on the word "depression"

2) The shame one holds who is struggling

3) Being labeled as a mental disorder

4) People believe its self inflicted

5) People judge you for your struggle

These are just a few reasons that came to mind first. I know we could go through a list and think of reasons we won't discuss depression. But I'm here to be real about depression. 

Leave the stigma behind and lets talk. 

I can't pinpoint exactly when my depression first occurred, but I know it started young.  I was going through a difficult situation that I had no control over at around 8 years old. I honestly didn't understand the circumstances until a couple years later. That is when my life went to turmoil. I didn't realize at the time it was depression that I was dealing with. 

Once I started struggling with depression as a preteen it was just the start of what years ahead would look like. It has gone into my teenage years and my adult years. Sometimes you can't even describe why you are depressed, which then causes people to judge. This shuts the person down who is struggling with depression. Which can lead to a deep downward spiral in their life. 

I've been in some really scary places in my life when I felt as there was no hope. Causes for these emotions can vary from losing a loved one, failure, having no value or self worth, break ups, disappointments, and many more things. 

But where the stigma stops is where support comes in from loved ones. I have been fortunate to have family and close friends walking this journey of life with me. Yes, I know that it has been hard for my family over the years but you know what they have carried me through. 

Ways you can stop the stigma:

1) Listen to your friend or loved one.

2) Show you care for their needs. 

3) Do research on depression to better understand their emotions/feelings. 

4) Be accepting. 

5) Never give up when they are struggling. 

Your support can go a long way! But please stop judging the person whose struggling because you may not realize the internal battle they are dealing with.  Be patient with your friend or family member during the vulnerable season they are in. 

You never know, you may save a life!