Stop the Stigma

So....Lets talk about a topic that no one wants to talk openly about. There are many reason people avoid the topic of "Depression." 

1) The stigma on the word "depression"

2) The shame one holds who is struggling

3) Being labeled as a mental disorder

4) People believe its self inflicted

5) People judge you for your struggle

These are just a few reasons that came to mind first. I know we could go through a list and think of reasons we won't discuss depression. But I'm here to be real about depression. 

Leave the stigma behind and lets talk. 

I can't pinpoint exactly when my depression first occurred, but I know it started young.  I was going through a difficult situation that I had no control over at around 8 years old. I honestly didn't understand the circumstances until a couple years later. That is when my life went to turmoil. I didn't realize at the time it was depression that I was dealing with. 

Once I started struggling with depression as a preteen it was just the start of what years ahead would look like. It has gone into my teenage years and my adult years. Sometimes you can't even describe why you are depressed, which then causes people to judge. This shuts the person down who is struggling with depression. Which can lead to a deep downward spiral in their life. 

I've been in some really scary places in my life when I felt as there was no hope. Causes for these emotions can vary from losing a loved one, failure, having no value or self worth, break ups, disappointments, and many more things. 

But where the stigma stops is where support comes in from loved ones. I have been fortunate to have family and close friends walking this journey of life with me. Yes, I know that it has been hard for my family over the years but you know what they have carried me through. 

Ways you can stop the stigma:

1) Listen to your friend or loved one.

2) Show you care for their needs. 

3) Do research on depression to better understand their emotions/feelings. 

4) Be accepting. 

5) Never give up when they are struggling. 

Your support can go a long way! But please stop judging the person whose struggling because you may not realize the internal battle they are dealing with.  Be patient with your friend or family member during the vulnerable season they are in. 

You never know, you may save a life! 

Empowering Others

"I love

the person

I've become

because I fought

to become her."

~Kaci Diane

Recently I had an opportunity to chat with a fellow Flight Attendant for a while on the phone. I haven't even flown with her, but she jump seated on a flight I was working many months ago. We got to talking about many things during the 45 minutes we had on the phone. 

One take away I took was Empowering women. It really got the wheels going on in my mind! I have been living many years of my life trying to figure out life. Have I figured it out? Heck no! Will I ever? Absolutely NO! But I had this false thought that I had to have my crap together in order to empower and help others. 

Reality here is, we will always be a work in progress whether we are 20 or 90 years old. So what is stopping me or you from empowering others? Is it fear? Is it anxiety? Is it your past? Is it your time? 

I don't have a solution where to start or begin. So we're in this together figuring it out. But whether its part of my story or life experience lets link together and empower others. 

Be bold and share your life experiences to others. Love one another. Fight for one another. We can make a change in others lives! 

Seasons in the Journey

Its been a while since I've sat down and shared my heart! So here we are on this beautiful 25th of May! I sit outside my home in Mckinney, Texas, hearing the waterfall dripping into the pool. Its a beautiful and peaceful place to sit. Minus the humidity and bugs already happening here!! 

I will back up to last September, so many changes, so many moves, new states, new cities, new people.  You name it, I have probably experienced it within the realm of moving. I started my journey in Dallas, Texas last September. I was excited about this new opportunity so the thought of being away from family and friends wasn't as big of a deal. I now had 59 new friends and cohorts. We were thrown into long hours of studying, classes, drills, videos, crazy hours, and many different personalities. And boy did I study! I felt after class, I hit the books! It was well worth it. 

My plan was to stay in Dallas as my base, well we know God had a DIFFERENT plan for my life. I found out around week four of training my little Arkansas self would be driving to Miami, Florida for a new life. Was I happy? No! Did I make it? YES! A girl who grew up in a town of 50,000 people to a city that never slept! It was an adjustment to say the least! I wasn't ready, but I was going. God sent a few blessings with me to Miami. He sent 36 of my classmates and I to Miami and sent a family I would live with for six months. This family became my own family. The loved me, they prayed with me, they encouraged me, cooked me dinner, took me to Cracker Barrel when I asked, watched stupid movies with me on Sundays, and became part of my life. My three besties from training even went to Miami. It was a challenging transition with many tears, but it was filled with Joy, growth, fun, adventure, and life. I wouldn't have been able to grow and figure out more of myself if I hadn't lived in Miami for the six months. I had a love/hate relationship with it. I would sit for hours on the beach and just dream. Sunsets, dinner with my girls, flying international the second I hold a line in Miami. I mean who holds international as a new flight attendant? Not many of us. But I still had this growing heart to move back to Dallas. 

Here I am. I'm here! I received my transfer to Dallas/Forth Worth with much excitement back in April of this year. I called my mom right away, posted on social media, texted friends. I was thrilled. Little did I think about in my excitement was the transition of moving once again. I had just gotten comfortable living in Florida. Learning the area, meeting a few people, flying amazing trips, loving my new family. So here I am, I'm a Texas girl now. But the emotions started to come, the out of places settled in, the sadness of missing my new family and best friends that I had met flying, the unknown, the thought of did I make the right decision? So many things going on. I honestly felt much depression from this. And the flying isn't as great here as it is in Miami :). 

I went from vibrant to just functioning. I think if I had prepared myself to the new "New" I would have handled it much differently. But once I began to remember that even in my excitement going to training and moving to Florida, I still had these moments. I just thought I was so excited to be a Flight Attendant for the New American, I didn't feel the emotions are deeply. But if I look back on the first days of training and moving to Florida, they were there. I was just focused on work and traveling more than having times on my hand. 

Moving to Dallas, I know a few people but we fly totally different schedules. And the months I'm on reserve we have a lot more down time than work time. Which is amazing when I had people to go see or go sit on the beach. Here its different. I would text my few friends for prayers, encouragement. and share my heart. Which has been the biggest blessings in my life! 

Last weekend I was laying around and thinking okay what are some changes I could make to get out of my funk. I had a few friends tell me about Gateway. But I also had a special angel on my first reserve trip out of Dallas. We had a long flight back from Brazil so much time to chat. I had found out this lady was a speaker and writer. I asked about her life, when she was in town where she attended church. She went to Gateway, just another way God leading me to this church. 

I finally took a leap of faith last Saturday and went. It reminded me so much of New Life back in Arkansas. I felt at home. It was my place, it was my home. Also I am learning to do things alone, being a people person this can be challenge. I took myself on a couple dinner dates. I may have looked like the poor girl sitting in the corner, but it was amazing to be brave enough to go and do something like this. I found that it was okay to share a meal alone. Not that I want to continue to live like this, but for this season I'm learning to lean into God and allow him to teach me and grow me. 

I share the entire background that you can understand its all seasons we go through. But in this season I'm learning I have a choice to make in how I deal with it. For a couple weeks, it wasn't pretty and I still may fail. But I know I have a God that is bigger than any transition we go through. Its not easy, it sucks to be blunt! But slowly finding my place here will be worth it in the end. It will be and feel more like home! 

No matter where you find yourself, in the dumps, low low low, hopeless, helpless, angry, sad, or on top of the world, excited, ready for the next season. Know God is a big God. He will carry you through and give you the peace that can only be from him. 

I work in progress. I may have broken pieces shattered all over the place, but I see a God that is putting the pieces slowly back together to make beautiful. Its just a season, so keep swimming!!!  

"If you feel like 

you're falling apart,

fall into my arms.

I promise I will catch

every little piece of you

and I promise 

I will always love 

your brokenness." 

--Anita Krizzan

I see God in this little quote like none other! He is constant in our lives. And loves our brokenness! 

Worried?

Real Life, Real Struggles

Lately, has been filled with worry. Whether its reality or just scared of things that haven't happened yet.  It has plagued me recently.  I have lost sleep, not been in the presence moment, and just not been happy. 

We all could admit that we struggle at times with worry. Can't you? I know, I can! How do you handle yourself when you feel completely out of control with your worry? Its a nonfunctional feeling. I get it too well. I'm not usually this open about this debilitating feeling. But here I am, I know I'm not alone in this area. 

Some things I have worried about is not even worth my time. Because it may never happen. Ever been there? But it seems so real in that moment. Or things that you think will happen because of the things going on. Its like how can I get my brain to stop!!! Its a daily struggle. 

But here is where I am, after no sleep for a few days. Literally NO SLEEP!! I was a mess. But then after a day and a half of more sleep! I took a 4 hour nap. Then slept 12 hours the next night. Sleep has done wonders. I mean, I get why we are designed to SLEEP! I'm a functional person again. I'm thinking more clear. Because I was the irrational person speaking for a couple days! 

So after getting sleep. Getting my brain and body back into sync. Things changed for the better. I was thinking clearer (Thank God!). I was able to function in a way I hadn't in a while. So when you're back to rational thinking. You see God more clear and that he was walking in the midst of that darkness the entire time. Even when I didn't see or feel him. 

I love knowing that God never left my side. I lose sight of that when I get so worried and amped up into irrational thinking. He was there, waiting on me to run back to him. Wow!! So here are a few lessons I've learned in the last bit of dealing with extreme worry. 

1) God has not left my side. He cared for me in the midst of my fears. 

2) I was loved and cared for even when I didn't feel it. 

3) I was never alone. 

4) We think more clearer when we finally sleep!!!

5) Allow God to meet you in the midst of the worry. 

6) Thankful through it all. I am learning through it now. 

We are human, we go through all different things to get us to where we need to go. I have not overcome this. But I have taken a step closer to overcoming. 

"So don't worry about 

tomorrow, for tomorrow will

bring its own worries. 

Today's trouble is enough for 

today."

Matthew 6:34

"Don't worry about

anything; Instead, pray

about everything. Tell God

what you need, and thank 

him for all he has done."

Philippians 4:6

These are two verses I have been clinging too. And trusting. I pray that through my struggle, you will be encouraged and able to overcome and feel like you are not ALONE!!!                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

Just a Dream

We all have dreams right? A lot of dreams that we don't actually react to. Been there most of my life. I ponder on things I want to do but never put action to these dreams. A lot of the reason I didn't put action to the dreams is because of the lies I was believing. I didn't think I was worthy enough, smart enough, or good enough. All these things the enemy kept telling me. My story wouldn't help anyone was a big one. I was so tired of listening to these lies. So I finally said screw the devil, I'm going to follow my dream.

If you've followed my blog for any time, you know that I speak a lot on recovery, addiction, eating disorders, depression, pain, anger, exercise, abuse, and much more. I'll continue to blog and share my thoughts and heart. But its time to fully emerge myself in one of my biggest dreams yet!

I truly believe that the things I have been through isn't to be kept quiet any longer but to share with others who are hurting also. We ALL have a story to tell! And it all has meaning for others and for yourself. So I'm here to share the pain, failures, hurts, for others to find healing. And praying for more healing within my own heart.

I'm still a broken person. I think we all are a little if we look within ourselves. I still have daily struggles, daily surrenders, daily decision to make. But that's no longer stopping me from sharing with others. I'll continue to heal, learn, and grow through this season.

But my story is finally hitting "book" form. I'm going to be raw and real but also share that there is hope no matter where we are. I'm praying God uses each part to touch just one person who needs to hear it. I'm excited and ready for this next season.

Isaiah 61

The Spirit of God, the Master, is on me because God anointed me. He sent me to preach good news to the poor, heal the heartbroken, Announce freedom to all captives, pardon all prisoners. God sent me to announce the year of his grace— a celebration of God’s destruction of our enemies— and to comfort all who mourn, To care for the needs of all who mourn in Zion, give them bouquets of roses instead of ashes, Messages of joy instead of news of doom, a praising heart instead of a languid spirit. Rename them “Oaks of Righteousness” planted by God to display his glory. They’ll rebuild the old ruins, raise a new city out of the wreckage. They’ll start over on the ruined cities, take the rubble left behind and make it new. You’ll hire outsiders to herd your flocks and foreigners to work your fields, But you’ll have the title “Priests of God,” honored as ministers of our God. You’ll feast on the bounty of nations, you’ll bask in their glory. Because you got a double dose of trouble and more than your share of contempt, Your inheritance in the land will be doubled and your joy go on forever.

I feel as God has given me this verse to stand on during this time of writing and seeking him for guidance. This is where it all starts. Stay tuned for details throughout this journey!!!

How Plexus Helped My Eating Disorder

Over the past year, I have had a couple people approach me about joining Plexus. I was like absolutely NO! And that was because of my history of my eating disorder. I knew putting "weight loss" products in my life would not be healthy. I also knew that I would be judged by others who knew what plexus products were usually used for. So I chose not too.

I went on with my life and didn't think about it a whole lot after that. I moved to Texas for training and then onto Florida, where I live now. I reached out to an old friend because I was struggling with depression, being away from friends and family, and starting a new career. It was just a challenging time for me.

My friend encouraged me and was there for me. After a few conversations she shared Plexus with me. I was like no at first and since we have a close relationship I could share my concerns about the products. She totally understood my fears and concerns. So I did my own research!! I realized that not all products are for weight loss. Its about so much more!! Its about finding health in your body!!!!!

After about a week, I got back to my friend and said I'M IN!!! She was thrilled to help me get started.

Over the years my recovery with my Eating Disorder has been full of ups and downs. Some days are great and other days are a struggle. Its part of my normal life. As I began the products I realized things were changing, but for the GOOD. I was no longer craving all the sugar and carbs, which this helped me choose healthier options. When I choose things that are healthier, I feel so much better about myself. Craving healthy food is an amazing feeling!

I no longer was bingeing. I would sit down and stop when I was full. This would never happen in the past. I would normally skip meals or eat like a horse when I sat down to eat. I had zero control and zero balance. Now, I feel "semi-normal" when I sit down to eat. I only eat until I'm full. I still have my days where I may skip or eat too much. But I have the control over food that I never have had before. I feel the confidence I never had before over food. I know its still a journey for me, but its a journey that I can handle now.

Craving water and healthy foods. Oh my goodness!! Let me tell you, I have always been a super healthy eater but that was because I was scared of most foods that were not in my "safe" food group. I would just eat healthy to maintain. But I would end up bingeing on the "bad"foods. Now I look for salads, greens, vegetables, all healthy food. I love it! I don't think about where is that chocolate or cake or pie. I will enjoy a piece if I am given a piece. But I stop after a couple bites now. Use too, I would eat the whole piece or more and purge. Not a healthy thing. But it was my reality. It may also be your reality. You're not alone!! Its hard!!! I'm also always looking for water. I love water now. I feel better getting all the water in, where use to I would not get even half of my daily water intake in.

I use to always be so exhausted. And this is because I never was getting enough sleep or the proper intake of food. My sleep has always been horrible! Since I was a kid. Now I'm sleeping most of the time at least 7-8 hours a night. This has never happened. I kinda get excited now to look at my fitbit in the morning to see how my sleep was!! I have never had the best eating habits. Like I said earlier, it was either restriction or bingeing. I have not fully conquered this part. But I am daily eating more, because I am craving healthy things. And I know the days I eat the things my body needs, I feel so much better. I have the energy that I need to properly perform my job. So it may be a challenge to get in all the nutrients that I need, but I am improving each day!!! Thank you Jesus!

If you struggle with an eating disorder, please don't be scared to take the next step. This may be products to help you overcome as it has for me! I would love to walk this journey with you or a loved one. Please feel free to contact me!!

whitneyrwest@yahoo.com

Keep on Fighting!!!

The Legacy of Papaw

This is my last picture with Papaw. I happened to be home the weekend my family put him on hospice. I am so thankful I was home. I sat in a chair right by his bed and just held his hand. It was a beautiful moment for us. We played the Gathers (his favorite christian band). We played Amazing Grace!! He became coherent when I played Amazing Grace. He loved it. I could tell he was ready to go be with the Lord that day. I continued telling him we were all taken care of and he could go in peace. Just two days later, he left us.

I had an amazing grandpa. He loved his family well. He always made sure we were all taken care of. He was a pastor for over 50 years. He led many to Christ as well as our family also. He wanted all of us to come to Christ and know him. He lived this example out daily, which inspires me to live out also. Knowing he loved Jesus like he did, helped us have peace with his passing. He is reunited with Jesus and his wife Momma Hattie. Papaw is loving life! We are thankful!

A story I shared at his celebration last week, I thought I could share with my readers.

I always spent at least once a week with my grandparents. I would drive them to Cracker Barrel and we would enjoy our lunch. On this particular day, my Momma Hattie stayed home to tutor. So it was just Papaw and myself. After we finished lunch, I asked what else he needed to do while we were out? He proceeded to tell me he needed is drivers license renewed. So, I drove him down to the DMV. They checked his eyes, took his picture, and we walked out with a new license.
As I got home that night, I told my dad about our day. He told me he had been putting off getting that renewed because Papaw wasn't suppose to be driving anymore. He may have gotten his license renewed, but never made it back on the road. At least to my knowledge!!

We have many more memories but that is something my family and I still laugh about! He will be missed! But he is now living in paradise and loving life!!