Yesterday, I needed to be a recluse for a few hours. And the times I need to get away, it is in the best interest for myself and others around me! I can sometimes not be nice. So I drove myself out to run the trails. Its my place to run, think, pray, cry, talk out loud, and not have to deal with reality. I had no agenda but to enjoy myself and escape life for a bit. There is absolutely NOTHING more freeing than to be alone splashing through the mud, getting muddy, hearing only nature around me, and having a few explosions (few will understand that last one)!!!!! It was a quiet day for a Sunday afternoon out there. I loved every minute of it.
Running is my outlet from the world. Yes, it can work against me because of my struggles with being obsessed with burning calories and having to be fit. But this day it was surprisingly not about that. Probably one of the most freeing feelings for me, is knowing this time it wasn't for burning calories. It truly was for me to get away from life and the things bothering me to just BE. We aren't quiet or still long enough to just BE! So guilty of this!
As I ran the trails I allowed myself to forget my struggles, my fears, my hurts, my pain to be thankful! I felt like a little kid again. Since the day before it had rained the trails were MUDDY!!!! But I became the innocent little girl that I had missed out on for many years. The carefree girl came out of me. I began to not jump around the mud but to embrace jumping in it, splashing through it, and enjoying myself. Much of my life has been filled with a lot of pain and hurt. Few of you know my story and may be one day I'll be open to share more to encourage you to fight through your own daily pain. But it was a liberating 7.5 miles for me.
Not a great picture but you can see some of the mud I enjoyed jumping in. It was a beautiful time for me to find a new freedom in life. To walk away from painful memories and embrace the inner child I had missed out on. This doesn't mean things are easy or great but to make new memories and start moving forward from past abuse. Its like in an area of my life, I am living again. Its crazy how it all came out on the trails. I ran extremely slow for me. My running friends would tell me to shut up! But I'm here to say I was running trail at a 10:40 average mile pace!!!!!! Call me a turtle. But the pressure was off myself to perform within the running sphere. I was free to enjoy. I felt like myself for a short time. A piece of myself was put back together.
I hope you enjoyed being on the journey with me for a moment. Life is a journey! Its a daily choice in how you choose to react and be. So choose wisely my friend. Go out and live your adventurous life. It is worth being your unique self that no other feet can fill!
Today you are you,
that is truer than true.
There is no one alive
who is youer than you.
Dr. Seuss
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