Are you swimming through a storm?

When you think of the storm your in what are the first thoughts? Why God? Why me? I can't make it through this? I need a miracle. I don't understand this? I hate my life? I'm so angry at (you fill in the blank). I could continue on with the negative thoughts but lets not dwell on that specifically. I've been there, I've lived there, I've dwelled in all those questions. I wonder how I could keep my head above water.

My year felt like many of times. I have had to live with consequences of a 12 year battle of bulemia and anorexia. I have had freedom over this addiction for nearly three years but still had many consequences. I remember going to my surgeon last August and hearing all that I needed done. My bones in my mouth had deteroirated so badly where I needed to have bone added, teeth pulled, and implants. Then my body rejected some of these surgeries. I grew weary! I had everything removed for a few months to go back into surgery just two weeks ago. Within a week my body was rejecting once again. But friends I had a choice to make this time. Will I choose to cling to God's word or continue to ask the qustions from above. YES I WAS FRUSTRATED!! But as God says you can be angry but don't sin in your anger!

Like I said above I had to make a choice. Would I choose God's word or would I continue living in my pit. I chose to fully give it up and put it in Gods hand and find strength in God. It was not easy but worth it in the end. The joy I found, the encouragement from the word and friends, strength that I never knew I had, and HOPE that only comes from Jesus.

Its not been fun and not proud to say that I've had 9 surgeries in one year on my mouth. What I have learned and how I've grown in the Lord is the best part about it. I am thankful for this season. I had to "SLOW DOWN" my fast paced life and focus on what is important and get my priorities right. Learning that the Lord provides in ALL things is huge and he showed up more than I ever could have imagined. Yes all of the mouth issues were from past issues but learning about the Grace of God and how much he loves me and REDEEMS me from it made it all worth it.

So my question for you is what storm are you swimming through with your head barely above water??

You can find hope and strength in Jesus. It too shall pass but it may be months just as mine was. Don't lose your faith. The hope of Jesus lives right in you.

"Where the Spirit of the Lord lives, there is FREEDOM"

We all can live in this freedom. It just takes some of us (ME) longer than others to find it because we have to die to self and give control up to Jesus!!!!

The Prodigal Child

Luke 15:18-24 18I will go home to my father and say, “Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, 19and I am no longer worthy of being called your son. Please take me on as a hired servant.”’

20“So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him. 21His son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son.’

22“But his father said to the servants, ‘Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet. 23And kill the calf we have been fattening. We must celebrate with a feast, 24for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life. He was lost, but now he is found.’ So the party began.

I woke up the other morning with such a heavy heart. Nothing big going on that should have made me feel this way. But the past of all my sins were playing in my head and the enemy was using them against me to get me down and feel unworthy. But the awesome thing was God reminded me of the Prodigal Son in the bible. For the life of me I couldn't remember where it was found. So I did a search online and found it in Luke. I was so thankful I was able to combat the lies of my past with his word. 

How many of you can sit here and think of  the things you've done or been through to feel so inadequate and unworthy of everything? Because of you running away from God, dealing with an addiction, being complacent in your relationships and especially with God, laziness, loneliness, depression, anxiety, come from a broken home? I know that I have dealt with all the above in some sort of capacity. And at times it still comes back to my mind and the enemy tries so hard to get me down but God always shows up by speaking to me through scriptures, through prayer, and through my close friends who are my support system.

No matter your struggle there is HOPE!!! Go back up and read through Luke 15. The son left his family because he wanted his inheritance early. He messed up, he sinned, walked away from God and his family. But once he realized he was so far gone he was willing to go back and work for his father. But look at the encouragement at the end of the passage. "Go quick and bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet. Get a calf and lets celebrate." This is how God feels about YOU! He doesn't care where you've been or what your coming out of, He's waiting to celebrate YOU! Don't give any hold to the enemy because you are worth much more and the Lord is just waiting on you. How encouraging to know that you will always have an eternal love from the father. Stay strong friends and realize that you are loved, cherished, wanted, worthy, celebrated, beautiful, awesome, wanted. Be encouraged. 

The Two Year Mark

April 13th will make it two years since I graduated from Mercy Ministries. What a journey that was! I went into Mercy a broken little girl trapped in a woman's body. I had a lot of hurt and pain to deal with. I was struggling with many internal battles. The enemy had held me captive for way too long. I have many amazing memories with the women I lived with and walked life with for many months but most importantly I truly found Jesus.

It was some of the hardest months I have endured digging deep into the hurts, but it also was some of the sweetest moments I have had. God took the brokenness and made it beautiful! I am grateful for my time I had at Mercy. I received so much freedom in God that I would have never found if it weren't for Mercy. God used Mercy to change the destructive path I was on to bring freedom so I can now live by Isaiah 61. To help set the captives free. We are all called to do this.

The two years of being home have not always been the easiest but I now had HOPE knowing that God would carry me through and not let me down! I have had many oral surgeries and another one to come. Talk about a faith walk in trusting God for healing! I have been able to go to Haiti and serve the hurting over there. Loved the country and the people in Haiti! I now have dreams that surpass all anything I could do but God can do it!! It all started at Mercy to give me another chance at life! I am forever grateful for those months!

Most of all its by the Grace of God I am who I am today. He has done so much and continues to do much. Its an exciting season I am entering. To be excited about life feels good!

                                                            Me two months before entering Mercy. August 2010

                                                               Mercy Graduation April 2011

                                                       Me today!

This is how GOOD GOD IS!!!! The transformation that God can do in just two years! I am forever grateful for the freedom God has given me.



If you are struggling with any type of addictions or problem there is a God that can set you free.
"where the spirit of the Lord is there is FREEDOM"
There is NOTHING too big that God can't do!

When the Healing Begins

As alot of you know I've had a LONG 8 months of mouth issues. One surgery after another, dentist visits and much more. Its been a journey to say the least!

I had this last surgery January 30th, 2013. It was the most invasive one yet. During the recovery period that I had, I got really discouraged. I questioned if I would ever stop being in pain or ever feel good again. It was a long 14 days. I begged God to take away my pain after 7 days of hurting. As time passed God started to speak to me. The whole mouth issues still doesn't all make sense but I link it to my past issues. As God started to speak and show me that its a season to slow down and just BE. He gave me this peace that surpasses all understanding on about day 9 of post surgery. Doesn't mean its been easy but the peace God gives me has carried me through.

This has grown my faith more than before because I had to fully rely on Him and no one else. It took a good 2.5 weeks to start feeling really good. My point is that its been a struggle over the past months but we go through things to only make us stronger in God. He meets us right where we are.

What do you need healing in today? Whats the next step you will take in your healing process?

How we view homeless people

In the past two months God has really laid a lot on my heart for the homeless demographic in Central Arkansas.
We pass them on the roads daily. We make a side remark about they can do better than that? They just want my money for drugs and alcohol. And don't get me wrong there's been MANY of times I've done the same thing. But have you ever taken a moment to ask their story? They have a story just like you and I do. There's a reason they are on the roads.

Its easy to get in the midst of our own friend "groups" and not think of others outside of it. Jesus had his 12 disciples but He would always walk with the sinners, the outcasts, the sick.  The homeless are considered the outcast of our society. They don't have the support that they need in order to get off the roads. If we come together as a body we can change the statistic's of homelessness and bring restoration to these people.

It excited me a couple times a month to go out and give coats, a hot meal, and a listening ear to these people. Its a mission I feel led to do each month. It brings joy to my heart to go out and make a difference.

What are you doing to make a difference in your community, work place, family, friends? You can be the change one life at a time!!

this is Unas. I have met her twice now. She is a beautiful lady inside and out. I am grateful I have met her. 

Honoring my Mum

I am blessed!! This woman is a mum that has gone the extra mile for me since birth. My mother is beautiful, loved, cherished, great, encouraging, helpful, and most importantly a Woman of God. She has loved me when I was unlovable. She has prayed for me when no one else believed in me. She has been there when no one else was. She has done more than what most mums would ever think to do. She is the backbone of our family. My mum believes in my dreams to change the world for Christ, when most people think I am CRAZY, She doesn't. My mum is my cheerleader from day to day. She is always reminding me of my calling that God has called me too. I am forever grateful for a mum who goes the Extra Mile!!!
Thanks for all you do for me Mum!!!!!!! You are loved!!!!!!!

A Year in Review

A year ago April 13th, I graduated from Mercy Ministries. This program changed my life, from death to life. From victim to victor. From prisoner to freedom. From darkness to light. From hopeless to hope. From anger to joy. From lies to truth. Was defined as a person who would never live free from my addictions before I walked into Mercy BUT as I walked out of Mercy I was a woman full of life, living in freedom.
As I left Mercy I knew it was time for a challenge. It wasn't going to be easy living in freedom outside of Mercy's four walls. One thing I did know: I was up for the challenge. I was ready to face reality. I hadn't worked hard for 6 months to come out and fail. So I was determined to live it out. And I did! Its had its challenges but the challenges ONLY make you a stronger person in the Lord.

A verse I stand on daily:
The enemy came to steal, kill, and destroy. But God came so I could live life and live it abundantly! John 10:10
I love it because the enemy did come to do all of this and he did for many years. Now a year of living life abundantly! Wow I wouldn't change it for ANYTHING!!!! I am grateful for the life I have today. People who have stood by my side, encouraged me, loved me, helped me. Its all about support. God didn't want us doing this life alone.

I had a job within a month of being home. Coming on one year of being there! I work as a case worker or (mental health para-professional) at Arkansas Counseling. How blessed am I to pour into lives each day of hurting people. Loving on kids and helping them each day bring joy into my own life. My life verse that I try to live out each day is:


Isaiah 61
^1-7 The Spirit of God, the Master, is on me because God anointed me.
He sent me to preach good news to the poor, 
   heal the heartbroken,
Announce freedom to all captives, 
   pardon all prisoners.
God sent me to announce the year of his grace— 
   a celebration of God's destruction of our enemies— 
   and to comfort all who mourn,
To care for the needs of all who mourn in Zion, 
   give them bouquets of roses instead of ashes,
Messages of joy instead of news of doom, 
   a praising heart instead of a languid spirit.
Rename them "Oaks of Righteousness" 
   planted by God to display his glory.
They'll rebuild the old ruins, 
   raise a new city out of the wreckage.
They'll start over on the ruined cities, 
   take the rubble left behind and make it new.

Do you have a scripture that you consider your life? God gave this scripture after Mercy last year. Some friends and I were having a worship night last spring when God revealed new purpose into my life. I am called to be a part of seeing people set free out of bondage. Its exciting to see small pieces of the puzzle coming together in my life. 

A short glimpse of my 25th birthday last year. I was actually able to celebrate and live it in freedom! It was a sweet time with close friends and family. It put a new perspective on life and how you can live life in abundance. 

I had an awesome opportunity to speak with Nancy Alcorn (founder/President of Mercy) Fall 2011. Its really awesome to see all my mess I had been in turn into a message for others. I am blessed to be able to share with others the trials I've been through to help them know there is HOPE for them too. 

It was a privilege to share all God had done in life. My goal is to allow God to use me,to change one life at a time. I love sharing with others, its may first passion in life. Nancy is a woman that inspires me each day to be a better person. She had a passion at age 27 to start a ministry called Mercy. She started off with I believe just 1,000 dollar  to start a program for hurting women and take them in free of charge. With Nancy being faithful 28 years ago to Gods call, I can stand here free from all things. 

March and April 2012 were big months for me. I was interviewed on Nancy's radio show. The theme was "Spring Cleaning" cleaning the negativity out of your mind. How much negativity we get stuck in our minds, in just ONE DAY??? What do you do to combat those negative thoughts? I first go straight to what God says about that negative thought. I combat it with the word of God. Speak it out loud. Speak directly to the enemy and tell him he has NO power over your mind or thoughts. You have a sound mind in Jesus name. The word of God is what keeps you free from all bondage. We  talked on the radio also about surrounding yourself with positive support. A couple of people in your life who will speak truth to you on your good and bad days! The people who will stand with you and fight with you no matter what! 

April 27th I was able to speak in Nashville at the home there. I felt very honored that God would allow me to go back to one of the Mercy homes and encourage the current residents. I walked into the Nashville home and just wanted to encourage each girl and love on each of them. I ate dinner with residents and other people who were there supporting Mercy. When I spoke to these precious girls and others, the passion just resonated within in me to encourage them/show them their is HOPE in all things. It brought much joy to see some of their faces light up. Its my heart to speak into the lives of hurting people. 

Here are a few pictures of my highlight of that night! 

Lara a precious friend who encourages/believes in me/loves me! I am blessed

Nancy's dog Jude at the Nashville house! Finally got to give him some loves!

Amber is a sweet Mercy Sister. She graduated from Lincoln home also. We shared together that evening.Blessed to have met her. 

The next day I ran a half Marathon! This was a huge victory for me to run and be HEALTHY!!!! I had such fun with it. Alot of my race I was thanking God that I was healthy to run a half and running for a cause and that is Mercy Ministries. First off God saved my Life but used Mercy Ministries/Staff there to get me to where I am today! I am eternally thankful for this ministry. Here are a few race pictures!!!      

Anu is a new Mercy sister from Finland. She is an amazing woman of God. She is an INCREDIBLE runner. I ran the first 3 miles with her and said GO FOR IT! Shes awesome! Grateful for her friendship!

The team who supported Mercy in the Marathon! Mercy is blessed by many supporters!

before the race!!!! 

Amy Lentz was super sweet to get up early to pray with us before the race! These women inspire me to run with a purpose!!

My life is a filled with many blessings! I am grateful for the opportunities that I have had! God continues to work and use me through daily things!!!!!