The Journey of Life

This past Sunday I celebrated a HUGE accomplishment of my life. It had been three years since I graduated from Mercy Ministries. Mercy is a place for young women to go deal with any type of addiction, unplanned pregnancy, sex trafficking, anxiety, depression, abuse, life controlling issues, neglect, self harm, and much more. If you want more information on Mercy please email me personally at whitneyrwest@yahoo.com or get on their website www.mercyministries.org

I truly found God at Mercy. I was a very broken person and hated myself. I was not a pleasant person to be around. I was a burden to others and since I was hurting, I hurt others. What a life to live? it was miserable life. I didn't realize how miserable I was until I truly found God in my life. I began to find joy, and I mean the REAL joy that only God can bring into your life. I had so many things to overcome when I walked through the doors of Mercy. I dealt with addiction, abuse, anxiety, depression, self harm. It was a dark life that I had lived for way too many years. But it was a turning point in my life. It set a foundation for who I would be today. No, I'm not perfect, I'm actually far from it. I now have tools and even better God to go through life.

As I've shared of how I overcame alot there and it was because I truly found God for myself and put him first in my life. Things have been very challenging being in the real world. As things have been a lot better over the past three years, it still has come with many challenges. I have had struggles, depression, anxiety, other things come up that were deep wounds, and rebuilding friendships. Its all been a challenge. I have gone back to counseling at times, I have had people pray over me, encourage me, and just listen. But the thing thats different is, is that even at my lowest points of being home from Mercy, I have had God to turn too and seek.

God is a God who works miracles in our lives and he still does each day. To stay in a healthy place I have to seek him daily and when I am not fully seeking him is when I fall back into old unhealthy habits. Its a journey friends. So when you have bad days know that you're not alone, we are in this battle together. I wouldn't change my life and the things that happened to me and the choices I made. Yes, somethings are not pretty but its who I am today. I am able to help people that other people can't reach and bring encouragement to others. It is all God.

Embrace your journey! It may not be pretty but its a journey God will bring you through, if you're willing to allow him to ride the journey with you. Be who you are. Its not easy and you will have set backs. One of my favorite quotes that's not spiritual at all. And excuse one word in it.

"Pull up your boot straps and wade through the shit" yes not spiritual but true. Sometimes we just have go put one foot in front of the other to make it to the next step. You are worth fighting for. So keep fighting! 

Obsessed

Yes, that's me. I'm not one to post "selfies" on social media. But this has a purpose and what I'm going to talk about on the blog today. We are obsessed with being connected to everyone's lives through texting, social media, blogs, recipes, FaceTime, skype, YouTube, snapchat, candy crush, and much more.

Well this is me on Friday night. I'm pretty embarrassed to have received a text from the friend I was with at the time. She snapped this picture and texted me the simple word "HEY??" I looked up and said this really did just happen. And I think I was on facebook at that moment. Nothing important and forsure not more important than my friendship. But I was more engaged in social media than my relationship in person. Makes me sad to be honest. Makes me think.

We are ALL guilty of this. Some are worse than others when it comes to their phone than others. But this really made me think about how obsessed we are with being connected to everyone, every second of the day. I'm beyond guilty of this. But it stopped me in my steps and encouraged me be more cautious about when I use my phone.

This is my observation of how my generation has become:

* We are not having "real" friendships and relationships. We are using our phones to text and get on social media. that's how we communicate in our relationships. We need to pick up the phone and actually call a friend or even FaceTime instead of just texting. Take that challenge and call just one person this week.

* We don't have "enough" time in the day. How many times do you hear people say this? I DO! But count up how many times a day you are on your phone, texting, social media? GUILTY.
My challenge here is limit your time to "X" amount of minutes or hour on your phone.

* When you are spending time with your friends and family, how many times do you check your phone? Friday I was with a girl I mentor and I answered the phone. HOW RUDE???
My challenge here is tuck your phone in your purse and only get out if you know you are expecting a call or text that's important.

* We sleep with our phones. I'm preaching to the choir tonight! So when you say "I'm so tired" think about how many times your phone buzzed and took you out of REM sleep. I am not as guilty of this and that's because I plug my phone in and put it on the floor.

* We are obsessed with others lives. We want to know what everyone is doing or whose dating who. So we stay on Instagram and Facebook and look at everyones life. I have been stuck in the cycle and I became depressed because I was comparing my life.
My challenge here is use that time to go on a run, call a friend, write a letter, go walking, cook a meal. Get off of it!

* What do you do when you get bored? Go straight to the phone....
My challenge is go do something productive. Find a new hobby, go outside, do something you love.

My list could go on, but I like to keep it short and to the point. It really made me realize how much we are consumed by everyone elses life. And we are not being fully engaged in our present relationships. So when you are with friends and family members, try and engage with them. Make them feel more important than the phone and others. I am challenged by this blog and will continue to work on this. Be fully engaged where you are and invest your time with those relationships. You never know when it may your last time with that person. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, texting, can all WAIT. Your friendship who are you sharing a cup of coffee with is more important than the above.

"Make the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil."

New Perspective

Do you ever experience life as insane, chaotic, crazy?
Or your behaviors are acting as those?

Well I want to share about spending 11 days with my Princess. She truly is my hero. Anne Marie has a heart of gold. She wants to talk, cuddle, be close to where you are, and I love that. I miss waking up to her every morning now. But I learned a very important lesson on some of my actions this past week. I'm not a mother yet, but I know God will bless me with being a wife and parent one day. This past week I felt as a mom at times because Anne's momma was gone.

I was changing the laundry one day last week. And from another room Anne Marie was asking something. And I respond and say "hang on" "I'll do that in a minute." Something came to my mind after that comment. How many times have I told Anne that this week? I was then convicted on how does hearing that all the time make her feel? She was being put off. I know I would eventually get discouraged if I heard that all the time. Does Anne feel neglected? Does she feel sad or abandoned?  Does it hurt her feelings? It gave me a new perspective on how I am with her and others around me. I want to treat others where they feel valued, loved, accepted, wanted. I don't want them to question my motives or them to feel like they are unwanted.

But here's the twist and how God continued to work in my life. Yes I need to cherish and care for my friendships and others I take care of. These relationships are very important to me but God's relationship should always be first. I was thinking how many times do I tell God HANG ON, wait a minute, not now, I'll do it later? Its daily sometimes. It breaks his heart when we are not obedient to God.

I am challenged to watch my words towards others and God. I want to no longer tell God to hang on or wait a minute. I want to be obedient and follow his will right then. Yes I'll struggle with this and not be perfect but I'm willing to change this. Think about how much more peace you would have inside of yourself if you were to stop putting God off. His plans are so much better and bigger than my own!

Be challenged in how you react each day!!!

Perspective

My blog today is introducing my hero: Anne Marie Cox. The most beautiful girl on this planet! She has changed my life in so many ways, for the positive! I am spending my spring break with this princess.

Song of Songs 1:15
"How beautiful you are,
My darling, How beautiful!
Your eyes are like doves.

Anne Marie is so beautiful. Not just on the outside but she truly radiates beauty from the inside that just shines from miles away.

I want to give you a little background of this princess. She was born with a skin condition called EB (Epidermolysis Bullosa). Blisters form all over her body. They are caused by friction to the skin, touch, from outside, and can form with no apparent cause. Its a journey for Anne Marie. Her baths take half a day. Its taking off all her bandages, popping blisters, sometimes cutting some of her infected skin off. She then soaks in bleach water for up to an hour. After she soaks and washes, then you pop more blisters, and then re wrap her. Its a long process but a much needed process. There are a lot of tears shed during this time. Its emotional and painful. I mean who wants to go through this? I selfishly don't! As of now there is no cure for this disease.

Things I've learned from Anne Marie:

1) Life isn't that bad for me. She goes through it each day! She's in pain daily and needs morphine to control it sometimes.

2) Anne maybe in alot of pain but she finds JOY each day. She' always smiling and happy. Its like WHITNEY get ahold of your emotions, you have so much to be grateful for. Anne Marie is always happy. A little bossy :)

3) To enjoy life to the fullest! We aren't promised tomorrow so enjoy today and make the most of every opportunity.

4) Love people. Anne will come up to me numerous times a day just to say "I love you" or give me a hug. We all need this. Even if we aren't physical touch by nature we all need a hug on a occasion. Or to tell someone YOU LOVE THEM!!!

5) Help others. Anne is always trying to help me around the house or put things up. We are lazy beings here. I'm guilty. But help someone today. Whether that's listening to their issues, helping clean up a house, and encourage someone. We can help in so many ways. Anne Marie always wants to help. And guys sometimes her pain is so bad in her feet that she can barely walk and stand. She still wants to help!

6) Be kind to everyone you come in contact with. Anne Marie can be bossy but she accepts every kid and adult that comes into her life. How cool would it be if we ALL were accepting to others? I wish I was more kind and accepting as my sweet Anne Marie is.

Those are just a few of the things I've learned from Anne Marie. The Lord has blessed me over the past months because I have been able to learn from Anne Marie.

I want to leave you with a quote that Anne said yesterday as she was in the process of her bath and in pain: " One day when I get to heaven I will have a new body and not have blisters anymore"
This is an eight year old girl whose saying this. Broke my heart. Made me so sad. She yearns for a healed body. And I'm so guilty of not liking my body and being negative about it. But my body is able to do things that I take for granted.

I don't share all of this for you to feel guilty for how you act or live. But to put in perspective as it does for me on a daily basis walking life with Anne Marie. Makes my problems a lot smaller. Yes our issues are real and real to us. But lets daily be more thankful for the abilities we have. Anne Marie would love to have the abilities that we do! Pray for this sweet princess if you feel led!

Finding Encouragement

Ever had a day, a week, or even months of just struggles? Then the shame, despair, anxiety, sadness, depression, and many more emotions creep in. This isn't a fun way to live is it? I know if we were to get very honest with one another, we ALL have been in this place at one time or another. With all of the yucky emotions, do you ever find it hard to seek or ask for help? I know that I do. The enemy creeps in and brings on all the shame, so it takes me longer to ask for help or encouragement. 

Sometimes asking for help makes you feel like: a burden, a mess, a failure, hopeless, judged. But what I've been learning is that these are ALL lies from the enemy. Its so easy to fall into this trap. I know I caught myself feeling this way just recently. But after having a couple of spiritually mature mentors and friends just accept me with arms wide open. I saw God's love through them. 

Finding encouragement in others is letting down our own guards and being vulnerable. God places others in our lives so that we can be encouraged and we can encourage others. We are not called to do life alone. I'm not telling you to go out and talk to 20 people about things going on in your life, but find 2 or 3 trusted people who are a step ahead of you and willing to walk life with you. 

Steps to finding encouragement:

1) Find trusted people (2-3 people) to encourage you and you encourage them.

2) Be ready to be open and vulnerable. Even if there are deep pains you don't want to open up. It will be worth it in the end.

3) Find non judgemental Christians who will accept you no matter what. Doesn't matter if you are deep in addiction or just struggling with work. Even Christians are judgemental (guilty), but I do promise they are out there! 

4) Make sure God is in the middle of the relationship! 

5) If the word they are speaking is of God, take it and run with it. But if its not of God use discernment and let it go. 

6) Accept the love they are giving to you through encouragement. I know if you are struggling with low self esteem you don't want to listen, but do! It's most likely a word from the Lord. 

7) Be ready to be challenged through the encouragement. 

8) Don't be too ashamed to seek this type of encouragement. 

9) As you receive encouragement, give it back to others!! 

10) Be open! 

The Power of Your Story

You know all that yucky past, hurt, pain, anger, anxiety, depression, abuse, permicious life style, addiction, and much more. Really, who wants to talk about those things?? I don't. Its hard too.

1 John 5
"For everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith.

Even though we may have been through some yucky things. We have Victory through Jesus. Yes that may sound cliche but its truth. I'm learning right now with somethings I'm dealing with, there is hope and victory in Jesus. Doesn't mean I don't struggle because I do, but there's hope because of Jesus.

No matter your story, its powerful! Stop carrying the shame and be bold and share that with someone. If you're willing to share those deep hurts and bring God glory, you will find more healing and help someone out. I have found that the more I share with others, I find more healing and peace in my own life. God is so good to meet us right where we are.

Someone needs to hear your story or a piece of it! You never know what the person you are speaking with is going through. So be bold my friends! God will bring you the right people and the right words to speak to them.

I learned just this week how powerful our story is. Without tons of details just to protect both parties and myself. I had been going through things in my own personal life and pretty down. Just kinda going through life. Seeking God but not finding the peace. And I think this situation came up for me to see God has my back! So a friend of a friend/acquaintance contacted me. She wanted me to speak with a girl about some of my story and struggles in life. So as I shared earlier, BE BOLD!  I became very transparent and open with this girl. God used me in a way I could never imagine. I do not get any of the glory, God does.

You maybe feeling all the emotions that come with your pain, but know that God wants to heal you and also use you in a big way to help someone else! You are powerful through Jesus!

Fake-Baked

Fake baked= not too spiritual here. This may not be my most spiritual blog post but I feel the need to share my own story of tanning, fake tanning, laying in the sun, all the above. WE WANT TO BE TANNED!!!!!!!

I know its that time of year to get bronzed and beautiful. We think tan is beauty but its not. It almost caused my life five years ago this July. I had been living in Florida for about a year at the time. I got off the plane for a two week visit. A much needed time in Arkansas. I had missed my southern family, hospitality, and friends. But a lot had changed. Right as I got off the plane my dad did not greet me with a hug but whats on your neck? I was like a mole? I don't know. I had been living in 80 degrees year round. Who needed sun block? I was tan all year. I was happy! I was beautiful! Well with my dads concern, I was told to go to my doctor that next day. I got into my doctor he said I'm not messing with this, you need to see a dermatologist. Me being ME. I don't expect the worst. I was thinking oh mom and I will go to Little Rock for the day. Get this mole looked at, shop on my parents, eat lunch, enjoy girl time. Well I had that mole removed and we went on with our day. I remember shopping and going back home to resume life. They told me I would have results back within a week or so. I was going back to Florida thinking it was no big deal. Well ring ring ring ring...I was sitting on my bed with a dear friend. Just catching up on life. Mom said your doctor wants to talk to you. Dr. Manning said hey Whitney I need to send you to UAMS because you have Clark 3 Melanoma. I was like WHAT? not me???? I had no words. My poor friend Casey just sat there. A memory we still talk about. Well I'm not going back to Florida anytime soon. I was gearing up for surgery.

There were many many more emotions than all of that. But I did get the news of having melanoma. I mean who wants to hear you have cancer and at 23 years old? I had faked baked for many years. I thought that's where my beauty came from. I thought tan=beauty. But in reality it risked my entire life. And how I look at life. I was scared to death. I didn't know how to tell people, or what to say, or to even tell anyone. I had God but to experience that is scary. I went through surgery and came out cancer free. Praise God. I have had several moles removed since then.

So ladies with this story of scare I'm asking you to rethink this spring of getting into tanning beds, putting on that baby oil, but turn it around with sun block!!! Stay out of the tanning beds. Find your inner beauty not through a tan or being darker but through Jesus. As a guy friend tells me "you have to be attractive on the outside but what really radiates the beauty is whats on the inside." So your inner beauty out weighs the tan, bronze, dark tan you are working for. It almost cost my life. It's a silent killer and many people don't realize that a simple 15 minutes in the tanning bed could be putting cancer in your body.

Its not about glitz its about the inside. Find your beauty in being pale, white, beautiful, olive, yellow, and ultimately find it in Jesus. He is where I find my beauty every day. Of Course I want to be darker or tan, but is it worth my life anymore? Absolutely NO!!! So I wear that 30 SPF! I go out in the SUN. I'm just more careful than I was in my teens and earlier 20s. Hard to believe I'm only 27 and had Melanoma!! Protect yourselves ladies!!

Remember to find your pale beauty in Jesus!!! No need to bronze yourself! Wasting your money and life :)