I'm a work in progress, EVERYDAY!!! I'll give you a little background of my life just in case you are newer to my blog. Just so you're not fully lost with my story that will follow. I have battled an eating disorder and over exercising disorder for 13 years and been living in recovery and freedom for almost 3 years now. I am grateful for how far God has brought me. Its only him and a few key people who have helped me get to the place that I am in today. But having these battles I have destroyed my body so much. I can get really sad or angry if I dwell in this place for too long. With my body being depleted of so many vitamins and minerals for so many years I have come to health problems. Between 2012 and 2013 I had 7 oral surgeries. YES 7! It was a challenging year and lots of pain. God taught me a lot during that time that I will be forever grateful for. It was a time to be still and if you know me, being still is like taming a kid!! He was so quiet and tender during the hard times but showed me how forever close he was to me. So here's to my realness! Get ready. Deep Breath. Go.
I shared the part of having oral surgeries for the purpose of what's going on in my life now. Thursday night after a great day of work and excited to hang out with the Watson girls'. We ate dinner, played around the house, they took baths, and then movie time. Since its a treat for me to be over there and watch a movie I decided to make popcorn. I mean who doesn't like popcorn? Its so yummy. We were laughing and enjoying Stuart Little. Then I feel a pop and begin chewing on something more crunchy....Okay drum roll....it was my TOOTH. I was like are you kidding me. Even though I am strong in my faith with God, I said a few words. I was really upset. I kept it together for the girls. After the movie was over and the girls went to bed. I LOST IT. I curled up by the fire and just wept like a baby. I know to you guys reading it may not be as big of a deal. But the trauma of 7 surgeries in a year and half just brings me back to those moments. I went to the dentist Friday morning and got something I didn't want to hear. I had fractured a tooth and a bone above it. And YES this is over POPCORN!!! Dr. Gordy told me my bones were so weakened from my past addictions that it didn't take much to break! So here we go on another ride. Heading back to my surgeon this week! I have struggled with knowing this. I have been angry, mad, sad, cried, bitter, anxious, and many more emotions.
So where I am today. Still having a hard time accepting the situation. Been very discouraged. But God blessed me with a sweet friend Friday evening to just vent all this too. She listened to me whine, be sad, and frustrated. But she cared even if I sounded erratic, thats what I needed. She encouraged me to SPEAK TO MY MOUNTAINS IN THE NAME OF JESUS!! This has stuck with me since Friday. I speak out loud and LOUD for the enemy to go. She also gave me a verse to memorize and stand on during the difficult times that I will face today and later in life.
Isaiah 61:2-3
He has sent me to tell
those who mourn
that the time of the
Lord's favor has come,
and with it, the day of
God's anger against
their enemies.
2) To all who mourn in
Israel, he will give a
crown of beauty for ashes,
a joyous blessing instead
of mourning, festive praise
instead of despair. In their
righteousness, they will be
like great oaks that the
Lord has planted for
his own glory.
So in my pain and heart ache there is HOPE and joy that will come. I'm holding onto this promise as I begin a new journey of surgery. I'm not sure what the future holds with my surgery and situation. But I now have a new hope and more peace. I will continue to update on this journey as I know more.
I know people who read my blog has their own struggles. I pray that you can find hope through this verse just as I have. That no matter what we face, we will overcome it. It may not be fun at the moment and may be painful but there is HOPE!!
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