He has called you by name

....GOD HAS CALLED YOU BY NAME.....

Take a minute and let that settle in your spirit. This has hit me hard this week. And for the life of me have not been able to get that phrase out of my head. I've pondered and yes again pondered! I'm a bit analytical and think too much on certain things. Which is not always a good thing :) so don't learn from me in some areas. But God has been messing with my spirit in this area. Something became real this week.

So I looked up the meaning of my name just to see if it had any significance. Whitney meaning "White Island" my first thought was OKAY...White Island. Then God gave me White=Pure and Island=Freedom. Sounds weird how God speaks to me but brought much clarity of my name and who I am.

Have you ever taken a moment to research what your name means? Because now I see God calling me:  Freedom and Pure. He's not yelling at me or calling me names that don't belong to me. Take a moment and look at what your name means. God may speak to you through the name given to you by your parents. Its truly freedom to look at the meaning.

Here's the twist on the whole "He has called you by name."  God gave me another revelation during this time. Take a step back of the meaning of the name given to you by your parents and ask God what he calls you. God has given you a name specifically for you and you only. Get on your knees before the Lord and ask him what your name is. He will share it with you and encourage you deeply. He wants you to know how loved and accepted you are by him.

As I prayed about what God calls me by, it was amazing to hear him speaking to me. God has named me "worthy" which means honorable and admirable. This hit home to because for years I allowed all my past mistakes and sins to hold me back. I thought I was a horrible person for years. I didn't feel like I could be accepted by anyone. I was dirty. I was ugly. I was fat. I was a liar. I was an addict. I couldn't amount to anything. I was a failure. And I could continue on with my list and get uglier with the details

BUT this is where my hope came in! God began to call me "WORTHY" which means- honorable, admirable, respected, valued, adequate, excellence, honest, victorious, and righteous. Whoa deep breath there.

How cool is it that God gives each of us a name he calls us by. I encourage each of you to sit down, get on your knees, journal. Whatever ways you connect best with God and allow him to speak the truth of what your name is to HIM. And he will bring freedom to you and hope to you. Don't allow the past of your life to be "your name" because that's not who God sees. He sees you as a totally different person.

The Call

Do you ever question yourself or God about your call in life? Or why this door was closed and not opened?

Lets be real. I do more often then not. Its a challenge when you have a HUGE heart for something and can only do very little with it. But I am reminded of what God says "do not grow weary" and it keeps me going. It keeps me at peace knowing all things work together for His good. I am encouraged daily whether that's through the word of God, through a friend, or through a podcast. Staying focused on the heavenly perspective has helped me during this season for sure. We are all called to do big things so keep seeking the Lord and he will show you and show up in a BIG way! Lets not continue to conform to this world and having little dreams but BIG God dreams!

As I'm in the midst of seeing the Big Dream God has given me I am having to stand firm and not allow the enemy to tell me any different. So stand up,  speak to the devil ,and tell him he has NO power over your dreams and calling in life. He will come to kill, steal, and destroy but remember God came to give you life and it in abundance!!!!! Love that. I'm excited to hear what each of you feel that your calling is in life. So send me messages and share! I'd love to pray and support you in your God calling.

I want to share a story of a family who are living out their calling right now as I'm typing this. Today I said "see ya later" to a family that I have grown to love and care for on a deep level. Lauren and I were running just back in January or February and she mentioned that they were praying about moving to Russia to work with the orphans.
A background story to the Harrington's is after the entire family went to Russia they met two older children. They began the adoption process: raising money, paper work, visas, and much more. Then the devastating news came over the news for us all. Russia was NO longer allowing international adoption. So this is when they began talking about moving over there. I was extremely excited for them but the selfish part of me was thinking, who will I run with? Who can I just sit on the couch with and just chill? Many selfish questions. But as Lauren and I continued to run and hang out, I was able to hear and see her heart on their call for this season. I loved the excitement they all had about this nation. Its been super neat to walk this journey with them over the past 6-8 months and I'm thankful for it. This family of four are WORLD CHANGERS!!!! I'm excited to skype, read their blogs, and hear updates of all the cool ministry things they are doing!! I love this verse because its exactly what the Harrington's are doing: James: 1:27- Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after Orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. Their heart is to go love on the Orphans of Russia. I'm so excited about seeing all this unfold and what the next two years look like.

Friends that is just one story of people following the call of Jesus. Its time to rise up and all of us follow the call Jesus has for us. I'm excited to continue to see what God is unfolding right now in my life. As it continues to be shown I will share. Exciting things ahead. I encourage each of you to dream God dreams.

Things to ponder:
What is the call of God on your life?
What steps do you need to take in order for this to come to pass?
Are you willing to take that step?
What is holding you back?

I'm preaching to the choir right now and feeling convicted as I write those questions down. So your not alone! Lets rise up friends and live out our calling in life!!!!

Breaking Free

Before reading my blog take a moment and interpret the picture yourself.

I saw this picture on facebook the other night as I was going through my news feed and it caught my attention. And I'm not a person whose into art or sculpture's at all. As I looked more into this, I saw a meaning that hit home to me.

If you have known me for a while you may know I've dealt with an eating disorder and other addictive behaviors. I'm very thankful for the Lords Grace to help me overcome these compulsions. Things are not nearly as challenging as they have been in the past but I still have my struggles at times. I believe its because I try to keep the Lord as center of my life and lean on him for everything. No I'm not perfect at this at all. But its my goal to daily seek him in all areas of my life.

As I dealt with anorexia and bulimia for many years of my life I felt like this picture until I became the woman God created me to be. When you are trapped into an addiction or even sin you cant change it and feel completely trapped. You see the person in the first part and they are stuck. This is by far the worst feeling to have. You know when you are in a closed room or super close to people and can't find a way out? This is how it feels to be trapped in an addiction. During my eating disorder I felt hopeless and worthless. At one point in 2010 I thought I was going to die of anorexia. I was at my lowest (numbers don't matter so please don't ask) weight and having a lot of health issues going on. Doctors after doctors was my life. I was in my mind thinking this is how my life is and this is how I'm going to die at 24 years old. I was miserable friends. I didn't have God in my life during this time it was the enemy speaking every lie possible to me. But then I found Mercy Ministries. (www.mercyministries.com) This changed my life. Because I met God and found him personally for the first time.

So in the second part of the person fighting to break free. Once you come out of denial and admit the issue, you can begin to heal. The person trying to break free is sometimes the hardest. That's because you have to deal with the underlining hurt and issues that caused you to go into your struggle or addiction. In this part I started feeling a tiny bit of hope. Not much but it was there. I think God had gotten a hold of me by this time. When God is in the center of your life you can have hope and work through the hard things. So feeling a bit of hope kept me on track to become healed and whole for the first time in my life. One thing to remember in this process that Satan will do anything I mean ANYTHING to keep you stuck and in pain! Don't allow that to happen. He is under your feet.

You see the person who is fighting hard to break free from the mold is next. She's so close to freedom. Goodness I still sometimes feel like I'm so close yet so far because the problem seems so stinking huge. But if we are allowing God to walk with us in our struggles, nothings too big because he's a BIG God! I've been at this place many times in my life and still find myself so close to beating whatever my Goliath is but still defeated. We don't have to stay here because God wants better for us. I can remember in my eating disorder specifically being here in this phase and so close. I felt defeated for a long time. Satan still had a little hold on my life and I continued to allow this. But I could now see the light! I knew there was so much hope and such a testimony at the end of this. So I kept running and running hard towards the break through.

Can you not just feel the freedom right now seeing this woman break fully free from all the junk she had been holding on too?? This is how God wants us to live. I know that dealing with my eating disorder for many years I can fit into each mold and sometimes I go back to almost free to completely free. I love the picture of her just dancing and being free. There is joy and hope in all situation. So no matter how big the struggle or addiction you can have hope in Jesus!! Live a life of freedom and helping others through there journey. We need people to walk life with. We need cheerleaders, encourager's, faithful friends, God, the bible, and much more to fully overcome! Get connected with others who will fill in the gap.

Since I focused on my eating disorder from the mold. I want to encourage all my women friends to not be consumed by this world and what they say we should look like, the number on the scale, the size of our jeans, how much we should exercise, and what our diet should look like. This is where we all find our identity. I do and have to be brought back to reality of who God sees me as. He sees me as beautiful regardless of my size. He loves me more than what I look like. He cherishes me just because of who I am. He doesn't care the number on the scale. He just wants me to be healthy. Yes God wants us to be healthy physically, emotionally, but most importantly spiritually. Take a moment ladies and sit before the Lord and allow him to whisper the things he believes about you.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!

Gratitude or Attitude

If you've read my last couple blogs you can see a lot of change and maybe even hurt going on in my life and heart. And YES its been a challenging season!! But such an amazing time seeking the Lord and getting on my knees before God. One thing I've realized is that God wants us on our knees not only when things are challenging but always. Even when things are going great.

With all the things going on I've hit a few challenges along the way. I have struggled between wanting to have a horrible ungodly attitude towards my circumstances and trying to be full of gratitude towards the Lord and the closest people around me. I've learned its okay to grieve and process all the hurt going on but finding a balance is the key.

Going back to my attitude during this season isn't always pretty and I'm not proud of it. I would be embarrassed if people saw or heard the conversations in my head, with the people closest to me, and with God. I know God wants to see the rawness and realness of where I am because he already knows. He accepts us right where we are. And how freeing is knowing this truth! I am so grateful for this.

But I also have been challenged with showing gratitude during this season. God has showed up in such a tender way to whisper, "Whitney choose JOY and I will bring you HOPE!" When I began to sit still and listen to God's small voice talking to me, my life changed.

I definitely still struggle with choosing to be thankful during this season but its made my outlook so much better than it had been. And as  I've chosen to approach this season with gratitude the peace of the Lord has overcome me. I am so thankful for how the Lord and my support system has reached out and accepted me right where I am.

How can you change your attitude to gratitude during a tough season you are walking through??

Lets Get REAL

Real-(Adj)-

Genuine and authentic

As I looked up definitions of "real" this was the one that caught my eye. How many of us are asked on a daily basis "How are you today?" and we reply "great, life is fabulous, good." I know I'm guilty of this. But lets be real with each other today. We aren't always GREAT but portray it when asked how you are doing. We even tell the people we are closest to the same thing and the ones closest to us care the most. 

We need community with others who we can be real (Genuine and Authentic) with. God makes it really clear in the bible about how we need to be with other believers in community. This is to encourage us, pray for one another, meet another's need, a listening ear, and to walk through life with other believers.

You may think all the above sounds good but I'm not ready for that. And that's OKAY. We are all on different levels of wanting to break down the walls and get real with one another. I understand the thoughts going through your mind right now. You are thinking being real with others will expose your weaknesses, judge your issues, trusting the other person, being talked about behind your back. The list can go on. I get all of those feelings and most women feel the same way.  I can share from personal experience that I used to not like being real with my true feelings, ESP with others. Until God showed me the importance of having godly women in my life. What freedom comes out of breaking down the walls and having a couple people you can get real with. 

I pray that the season I'm in will encourage you to consider breaking down your walls.

I'm a woman that likes to do it herself and ask for zero help. Well God definitely has shown me different over the past month. I have been at the same job for almost 2 1/2 years. I've known for a while that my season would be coming to an end with my current job. I just needed to take a step of faith and step out. It was not a bad company at all but not moving up and not having a raise since starting, I knew something had to give. I began my search for jobs. This freaked me out a little bit. I had been comfortable for 2 1/2 years. I got an interview with a company. Super stoked about going to it. My heart to serve women, walk through life with them, and most importantly women come to Christ as their Savior  is my heart beat. So I jumped on the opportunity for this job. I was excited. Then slowly God revealed it was not the right fit for me. I was pretty bummed. I needed major wisdom from God and the couple people who speak complete honest truth to me. I sought wisdom. It was evident this was not a place for me to enter. I dealt with tons of anxiety and different emotions knowing I don't have a job. This goes back to my pride and wanting to be independent. Still tons of emotions going through my mind but through the word of God and others in my life he has brought more peace than I ever could have imagined. 

I have gone back to a verse we ALL know probably by heart. 

Jeremiah 29:11-13

"For I know the plans I have for YOU", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 

So this is where I'm at in life. Learning more and more about myself, seeking the word of God first  and a couple women who speak truth in my life. I encourage you to start breaking down the walls and become free to share!! You will find much freedom!!!! 

Are you swimming through a storm?

When you think of the storm your in what are the first thoughts? Why God? Why me? I can't make it through this? I need a miracle. I don't understand this? I hate my life? I'm so angry at (you fill in the blank). I could continue on with the negative thoughts but lets not dwell on that specifically. I've been there, I've lived there, I've dwelled in all those questions. I wonder how I could keep my head above water.

My year felt like many of times. I have had to live with consequences of a 12 year battle of bulemia and anorexia. I have had freedom over this addiction for nearly three years but still had many consequences. I remember going to my surgeon last August and hearing all that I needed done. My bones in my mouth had deteroirated so badly where I needed to have bone added, teeth pulled, and implants. Then my body rejected some of these surgeries. I grew weary! I had everything removed for a few months to go back into surgery just two weeks ago. Within a week my body was rejecting once again. But friends I had a choice to make this time. Will I choose to cling to God's word or continue to ask the qustions from above. YES I WAS FRUSTRATED!! But as God says you can be angry but don't sin in your anger!

Like I said above I had to make a choice. Would I choose God's word or would I continue living in my pit. I chose to fully give it up and put it in Gods hand and find strength in God. It was not easy but worth it in the end. The joy I found, the encouragement from the word and friends, strength that I never knew I had, and HOPE that only comes from Jesus.

Its not been fun and not proud to say that I've had 9 surgeries in one year on my mouth. What I have learned and how I've grown in the Lord is the best part about it. I am thankful for this season. I had to "SLOW DOWN" my fast paced life and focus on what is important and get my priorities right. Learning that the Lord provides in ALL things is huge and he showed up more than I ever could have imagined. Yes all of the mouth issues were from past issues but learning about the Grace of God and how much he loves me and REDEEMS me from it made it all worth it.

So my question for you is what storm are you swimming through with your head barely above water??

You can find hope and strength in Jesus. It too shall pass but it may be months just as mine was. Don't lose your faith. The hope of Jesus lives right in you.

"Where the Spirit of the Lord lives, there is FREEDOM"

We all can live in this freedom. It just takes some of us (ME) longer than others to find it because we have to die to self and give control up to Jesus!!!!

The Prodigal Child

Luke 15:18-24 18I will go home to my father and say, “Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, 19and I am no longer worthy of being called your son. Please take me on as a hired servant.”’

20“So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him. 21His son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son.’

22“But his father said to the servants, ‘Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet. 23And kill the calf we have been fattening. We must celebrate with a feast, 24for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life. He was lost, but now he is found.’ So the party began.

I woke up the other morning with such a heavy heart. Nothing big going on that should have made me feel this way. But the past of all my sins were playing in my head and the enemy was using them against me to get me down and feel unworthy. But the awesome thing was God reminded me of the Prodigal Son in the bible. For the life of me I couldn't remember where it was found. So I did a search online and found it in Luke. I was so thankful I was able to combat the lies of my past with his word. 

How many of you can sit here and think of  the things you've done or been through to feel so inadequate and unworthy of everything? Because of you running away from God, dealing with an addiction, being complacent in your relationships and especially with God, laziness, loneliness, depression, anxiety, come from a broken home? I know that I have dealt with all the above in some sort of capacity. And at times it still comes back to my mind and the enemy tries so hard to get me down but God always shows up by speaking to me through scriptures, through prayer, and through my close friends who are my support system.

No matter your struggle there is HOPE!!! Go back up and read through Luke 15. The son left his family because he wanted his inheritance early. He messed up, he sinned, walked away from God and his family. But once he realized he was so far gone he was willing to go back and work for his father. But look at the encouragement at the end of the passage. "Go quick and bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet. Get a calf and lets celebrate." This is how God feels about YOU! He doesn't care where you've been or what your coming out of, He's waiting to celebrate YOU! Don't give any hold to the enemy because you are worth much more and the Lord is just waiting on you. How encouraging to know that you will always have an eternal love from the father. Stay strong friends and realize that you are loved, cherished, wanted, worthy, celebrated, beautiful, awesome, wanted. Be encouraged.