Perspective

My blog today is introducing my hero: Anne Marie Cox. The most beautiful girl on this planet! She has changed my life in so many ways, for the positive! I am spending my spring break with this princess.

Song of Songs 1:15
"How beautiful you are,
My darling, How beautiful!
Your eyes are like doves.

Anne Marie is so beautiful. Not just on the outside but she truly radiates beauty from the inside that just shines from miles away.

I want to give you a little background of this princess. She was born with a skin condition called EB (Epidermolysis Bullosa). Blisters form all over her body. They are caused by friction to the skin, touch, from outside, and can form with no apparent cause. Its a journey for Anne Marie. Her baths take half a day. Its taking off all her bandages, popping blisters, sometimes cutting some of her infected skin off. She then soaks in bleach water for up to an hour. After she soaks and washes, then you pop more blisters, and then re wrap her. Its a long process but a much needed process. There are a lot of tears shed during this time. Its emotional and painful. I mean who wants to go through this? I selfishly don't! As of now there is no cure for this disease.

Things I've learned from Anne Marie:

1) Life isn't that bad for me. She goes through it each day! She's in pain daily and needs morphine to control it sometimes.

2) Anne maybe in alot of pain but she finds JOY each day. She' always smiling and happy. Its like WHITNEY get ahold of your emotions, you have so much to be grateful for. Anne Marie is always happy. A little bossy :)

3) To enjoy life to the fullest! We aren't promised tomorrow so enjoy today and make the most of every opportunity.

4) Love people. Anne will come up to me numerous times a day just to say "I love you" or give me a hug. We all need this. Even if we aren't physical touch by nature we all need a hug on a occasion. Or to tell someone YOU LOVE THEM!!!

5) Help others. Anne is always trying to help me around the house or put things up. We are lazy beings here. I'm guilty. But help someone today. Whether that's listening to their issues, helping clean up a house, and encourage someone. We can help in so many ways. Anne Marie always wants to help. And guys sometimes her pain is so bad in her feet that she can barely walk and stand. She still wants to help!

6) Be kind to everyone you come in contact with. Anne Marie can be bossy but she accepts every kid and adult that comes into her life. How cool would it be if we ALL were accepting to others? I wish I was more kind and accepting as my sweet Anne Marie is.

Those are just a few of the things I've learned from Anne Marie. The Lord has blessed me over the past months because I have been able to learn from Anne Marie.

I want to leave you with a quote that Anne said yesterday as she was in the process of her bath and in pain: " One day when I get to heaven I will have a new body and not have blisters anymore"
This is an eight year old girl whose saying this. Broke my heart. Made me so sad. She yearns for a healed body. And I'm so guilty of not liking my body and being negative about it. But my body is able to do things that I take for granted.

I don't share all of this for you to feel guilty for how you act or live. But to put in perspective as it does for me on a daily basis walking life with Anne Marie. Makes my problems a lot smaller. Yes our issues are real and real to us. But lets daily be more thankful for the abilities we have. Anne Marie would love to have the abilities that we do! Pray for this sweet princess if you feel led!

Finding Encouragement

Ever had a day, a week, or even months of just struggles? Then the shame, despair, anxiety, sadness, depression, and many more emotions creep in. This isn't a fun way to live is it? I know if we were to get very honest with one another, we ALL have been in this place at one time or another. With all of the yucky emotions, do you ever find it hard to seek or ask for help? I know that I do. The enemy creeps in and brings on all the shame, so it takes me longer to ask for help or encouragement. 

Sometimes asking for help makes you feel like: a burden, a mess, a failure, hopeless, judged. But what I've been learning is that these are ALL lies from the enemy. Its so easy to fall into this trap. I know I caught myself feeling this way just recently. But after having a couple of spiritually mature mentors and friends just accept me with arms wide open. I saw God's love through them. 

Finding encouragement in others is letting down our own guards and being vulnerable. God places others in our lives so that we can be encouraged and we can encourage others. We are not called to do life alone. I'm not telling you to go out and talk to 20 people about things going on in your life, but find 2 or 3 trusted people who are a step ahead of you and willing to walk life with you. 

Steps to finding encouragement:

1) Find trusted people (2-3 people) to encourage you and you encourage them.

2) Be ready to be open and vulnerable. Even if there are deep pains you don't want to open up. It will be worth it in the end.

3) Find non judgemental Christians who will accept you no matter what. Doesn't matter if you are deep in addiction or just struggling with work. Even Christians are judgemental (guilty), but I do promise they are out there! 

4) Make sure God is in the middle of the relationship! 

5) If the word they are speaking is of God, take it and run with it. But if its not of God use discernment and let it go. 

6) Accept the love they are giving to you through encouragement. I know if you are struggling with low self esteem you don't want to listen, but do! It's most likely a word from the Lord. 

7) Be ready to be challenged through the encouragement. 

8) Don't be too ashamed to seek this type of encouragement. 

9) As you receive encouragement, give it back to others!! 

10) Be open! 

The Power of Your Story

You know all that yucky past, hurt, pain, anger, anxiety, depression, abuse, permicious life style, addiction, and much more. Really, who wants to talk about those things?? I don't. Its hard too.

1 John 5
"For everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith.

Even though we may have been through some yucky things. We have Victory through Jesus. Yes that may sound cliche but its truth. I'm learning right now with somethings I'm dealing with, there is hope and victory in Jesus. Doesn't mean I don't struggle because I do, but there's hope because of Jesus.

No matter your story, its powerful! Stop carrying the shame and be bold and share that with someone. If you're willing to share those deep hurts and bring God glory, you will find more healing and help someone out. I have found that the more I share with others, I find more healing and peace in my own life. God is so good to meet us right where we are.

Someone needs to hear your story or a piece of it! You never know what the person you are speaking with is going through. So be bold my friends! God will bring you the right people and the right words to speak to them.

I learned just this week how powerful our story is. Without tons of details just to protect both parties and myself. I had been going through things in my own personal life and pretty down. Just kinda going through life. Seeking God but not finding the peace. And I think this situation came up for me to see God has my back! So a friend of a friend/acquaintance contacted me. She wanted me to speak with a girl about some of my story and struggles in life. So as I shared earlier, BE BOLD!  I became very transparent and open with this girl. God used me in a way I could never imagine. I do not get any of the glory, God does.

You maybe feeling all the emotions that come with your pain, but know that God wants to heal you and also use you in a big way to help someone else! You are powerful through Jesus!

Fake-Baked

Fake baked= not too spiritual here. This may not be my most spiritual blog post but I feel the need to share my own story of tanning, fake tanning, laying in the sun, all the above. WE WANT TO BE TANNED!!!!!!!

I know its that time of year to get bronzed and beautiful. We think tan is beauty but its not. It almost caused my life five years ago this July. I had been living in Florida for about a year at the time. I got off the plane for a two week visit. A much needed time in Arkansas. I had missed my southern family, hospitality, and friends. But a lot had changed. Right as I got off the plane my dad did not greet me with a hug but whats on your neck? I was like a mole? I don't know. I had been living in 80 degrees year round. Who needed sun block? I was tan all year. I was happy! I was beautiful! Well with my dads concern, I was told to go to my doctor that next day. I got into my doctor he said I'm not messing with this, you need to see a dermatologist. Me being ME. I don't expect the worst. I was thinking oh mom and I will go to Little Rock for the day. Get this mole looked at, shop on my parents, eat lunch, enjoy girl time. Well I had that mole removed and we went on with our day. I remember shopping and going back home to resume life. They told me I would have results back within a week or so. I was going back to Florida thinking it was no big deal. Well ring ring ring ring...I was sitting on my bed with a dear friend. Just catching up on life. Mom said your doctor wants to talk to you. Dr. Manning said hey Whitney I need to send you to UAMS because you have Clark 3 Melanoma. I was like WHAT? not me???? I had no words. My poor friend Casey just sat there. A memory we still talk about. Well I'm not going back to Florida anytime soon. I was gearing up for surgery.

There were many many more emotions than all of that. But I did get the news of having melanoma. I mean who wants to hear you have cancer and at 23 years old? I had faked baked for many years. I thought that's where my beauty came from. I thought tan=beauty. But in reality it risked my entire life. And how I look at life. I was scared to death. I didn't know how to tell people, or what to say, or to even tell anyone. I had God but to experience that is scary. I went through surgery and came out cancer free. Praise God. I have had several moles removed since then.

So ladies with this story of scare I'm asking you to rethink this spring of getting into tanning beds, putting on that baby oil, but turn it around with sun block!!! Stay out of the tanning beds. Find your inner beauty not through a tan or being darker but through Jesus. As a guy friend tells me "you have to be attractive on the outside but what really radiates the beauty is whats on the inside." So your inner beauty out weighs the tan, bronze, dark tan you are working for. It almost cost my life. It's a silent killer and many people don't realize that a simple 15 minutes in the tanning bed could be putting cancer in your body.

Its not about glitz its about the inside. Find your beauty in being pale, white, beautiful, olive, yellow, and ultimately find it in Jesus. He is where I find my beauty every day. Of Course I want to be darker or tan, but is it worth my life anymore? Absolutely NO!!! So I wear that 30 SPF! I go out in the SUN. I'm just more careful than I was in my teens and earlier 20s. Hard to believe I'm only 27 and had Melanoma!! Protect yourselves ladies!!

Remember to find your pale beauty in Jesus!!! No need to bronze yourself! Wasting your money and life :)

Eating disorder awareness week

 have been meaning to blog all week, well its Thursday and I'm here!! I've posted almost everyday with something encouraging about National Eating Disorder Awareness Week (NEDA). So I thought I would share a few things on my heart regarding eating disorders. A lot of people are suffering and you have no clue and that's because: 1) they are normal weight 2) slightly overweight 3) obese 4) not skinny enough. We identify eating disorders as being skeletal thin. But in reality people are suffering in all shapes, forms, ages, and ethnicity. So you may have no clue your co-worker, cousin, best friend, sister, or class mates are struggling from this evil monster. I know I was able to keep my eating disorder a secret for many years because I was always considered to be "thin or skinny". So you never know whose living in the pain of this struggle. Which takes me to my next point.

Since sharing eating disorders happen in male and female, all ages, all different ethnicity's, all shapes and forms. We need to be careful in how we approach these people who are struggling. Our words can hurt someone whose even in recovery. We don't know what to say or what's okay to say. So here's for a little education for outsiders. This is not to put anyone down but to help those understand.

What NOT to say to someone whose in recovery or struggling with an eating disorder:

1) You look great/healthy/better than ever.
This seems like your helping someone whose struggled with an eating disorder. But healthy in terms of an eating disorder person means "I've gotten fat". Yes this may sound foreign to you who doesn't struggle. So just be careful in how you tell a person how they look.

2) You don't look like you've had an eating disorder.
This recently happened to a close friend of mine. She was at the doctor and he told her that. It really triggered her mindset. So in her mind she was "fat" and doesn't look like shes ever been sick before. The can bring set backs in peoples journey's.

3) Commenting on what they are eating.
People who are even in recovery struggle with this. They feel as if you know their struggle, that you are judging them already for what they are eating or not eating. People are hyper sensitive of their food intake.

4) If you'd just eat _____ you will feel better.
Its not about the food. There's way more to an eating disorder that is deeper. People are struggling with deep rooted things that need to be worked through with a professional and God. God is the only one who can fully heal someone and help them through their struggle.

5) Should you really eat that? You've eaten a lot today.
This can send someone into more of a binge mode. It can hurt them in the long run. They already feel fat so this only makes them feel more insecure about themselves.

6) Negative comments about your body.
People with eating disorders could be comparing themselves to you. Or could make them even more insecure about their own looks. Don't shame your own body or anyone elses this brings more negative thoughts to people with eating disorders or even in recovery.

These are just few things that you can be careful when talking with a friend or family member whose struggling. We all need to be educated in order to help those who struggle! God has a plan for each one of you whether thats a mentor, friend, family member, one struggling with an ED, and counselor. Be as sensitive as you can when dealing with people who struggle!

My life: Real and Raw

I'm a work in progress, EVERYDAY!!! I'll give you a little background of my life just in case you are newer to my blog. Just so you're not fully lost with my story that will follow. I have battled an eating disorder and over exercising disorder for 13 years and been living in recovery and freedom for almost 3 years now. I am grateful for how far God has brought me. Its only him and a few key people who have helped me get to the place that I am in today. But having these battles I have destroyed my body so much. I can get really sad or angry if I dwell in this place for too long. With my body being depleted of so many vitamins and minerals for so many years I have come to health problems. Between 2012 and 2013 I had 7 oral surgeries. YES 7! It was a challenging year and lots of pain. God taught me a lot during that time that I will be forever grateful for. It was a time to be still and if you know me, being still is like taming a kid!! He was so quiet and tender during the hard times but showed me how forever close he was to me. So here's to my realness! Get ready. Deep Breath. Go.

I shared the part of having oral surgeries for the purpose of what's going on in my life now. Thursday night after a great day of work and excited to hang out with the Watson girls'. We ate dinner, played around the house, they took baths, and then movie time. Since its a treat for me to be over there and watch a movie I decided to make popcorn. I mean who doesn't like popcorn? Its so yummy. We were laughing and enjoying Stuart Little. Then I feel a pop and begin chewing on something more crunchy....Okay drum roll....it was my TOOTH. I was like are you kidding me. Even though I am strong in my faith with God, I said a few words. I was really upset. I kept it together for the girls. After the movie was over and the girls went to bed. I LOST IT. I curled up by the fire and just wept like a baby. I know to you guys reading it may not be as big of a deal. But the trauma of 7 surgeries in a year and half just brings me back to those moments. I went to the dentist Friday morning and got something I didn't want to hear. I had fractured a tooth and a bone above it. And YES this is over POPCORN!!! Dr. Gordy told me my bones were so weakened from my past addictions that it didn't take much to break! So here we go on another ride. Heading back to my surgeon this week! I have struggled with knowing this. I have been angry, mad, sad, cried, bitter, anxious, and many more emotions.

So where I am today. Still having a hard time accepting the situation. Been very discouraged. But God blessed me with a sweet friend Friday evening to just vent all this too. She listened to me whine, be sad, and frustrated. But she cared even if I sounded erratic, thats what I needed. She encouraged me to SPEAK TO MY MOUNTAINS IN THE NAME OF JESUS!! This has stuck with me since Friday. I speak out loud and LOUD for the enemy to go. She also gave me a verse to memorize and stand on during the difficult times that I will face today and later in life.

Isaiah 61:2-3
He has sent me to tell
those who mourn
that the time of the
Lord's favor has come,
and with it, the day of
God's anger against
their enemies.
2) To all who mourn in
Israel, he will give a
crown of beauty for ashes,
a joyous blessing instead
of mourning, festive praise
instead of despair. In their
righteousness, they will be
like great oaks that the
Lord has planted for
his own glory.

So in my pain and heart ache there is HOPE and joy that will come. I'm holding onto this promise as I begin a new journey of surgery. I'm not sure what the future holds with my surgery and situation. But I now have a new hope and more peace. I will continue to update on this journey as I know more.

I know people who read my blog has their own struggles. I pray that you can find hope through this verse just as I have. That no matter what we face, we will overcome it. It may not be fun at the moment and may be painful but there is HOPE!!

Loving the Journey

Most of my posts are real life experiences that I have gone through or going through. So tonight I decided to share more of my journey and finding joy in every circumstances.

As we know life isn't always great, happy, fun, exciting, or good. It sometimes just SUCKS! Yes, I said it! You sometimes are so deep under water that you can't even get your head above the water. I've been there and sometimes have days there. But you can't continue to live there. Its okay to have a bad day or a bad week. Its part of life. As I've grown in my journey of living in freedom and recovery from different addictions, my perspective has shifted. As I've said I still have bad days but I don't have live there anymore. I truly try to enjoy this journey and find the good out of it. God has given me a sense of JOY throughout this journey. And He can also give you that joy.

God has brought me to a point in my journey where I can sit back and not be consumed by my addictions each day. I can enjoy food, family, friends, and LIFE. What a freeing place to be. Even on the hard days they aren't nearly as challenging as they used to be.

Taking small steps each day is the key. Start off surrendering your day to the Lord. When that first negative thought comes to your mind, take it to God and let him help you through the moment. Call a friend who understands your struggle and will encourage you. Distract yourself with another fun activity. There are ways to enjoy your journey. Its finding those things that will help you push through the hard moments!

For me personally enjoying my journey has taken many years of hard work. So please don't think it will happen overnight for you. Know hard work pays off and you will find that peace, joy, and love for your journey! Keep working hard!!!